The Mom in Little Mans World

mid week confessions

2012-01-11T10:48:00.001-06:00

Welcome back to mid week confessions!

This is a great way to clear your head and your mind of the real things that are going on in your life.

Ready?

Time to share!

~ I am feeling down today. This is the first time I have no job and no schooling to keep myself busy. My boyfriend is working crazy hours to provide for our family and I feel like I am not contributing.

~ Finances ... aagh! I don't like even thinking about money right now. Things are so tight and unless I find a job soon it is going to stay that way. {Maybe I should start thinking more positively!}

~ Tonight is going to be crazy! I have an appointment at 3:30, then Jacob has a basketball game at 6:10, and then we both have to be at church by 7 for Awana's and our financial class.

~ Tomorrow isn't going to be any better. I have open house for Jacob and a parent teacher conference for Christian.

~ On a better note I should be able to turn in my substitute teaching paperwork tomorrow. I can't wait to get back in the classroom.

~ Jacob has started drinking coffee. One morning I was joking and asked him if he wanted chocolate milk or coffee for breakfast. He said coffee so I made him a small cup just for fun. He drank it and liked it. Now every morning he asks for it. The good news is that for kids with ADHD coffee calms them down.

So those are my confessions! What do you have to confess this week?

The {Perfect} Plan

2012-01-10T14:22:00.005-06:00

It all began at the end of a wonderful weekend ... the perfect plan.

On most Sunday nights when Dan has to take Christian back to his mom's house, Jacob is sad.

Really sad.

For Christmas Jacob got a DQ Blizzard Maker and I thought making blizzards would be the perfect way to cheer him up.

As Dan and Christian walked out the door, Jacob and I walked out the door as well. We read the directions on the blizzard maker and realized we only needed half and half. The other ingredients we needed was salt (check), water (check), ice (check), and the vanilla ice cream packets (check).

So we quickly said our goodbyes and off we went to the grocery store in search of half and half.

I know it isn't hard to find but the challenge was leaving the store with just half and half.

To my surprise the half and half was on sale for 50% off.

Yay! This trip is already going better than expected.

We went to the check out and paid $1.01 for 16 oz. of half and half.

No extras!

We got home and took out the ingredients that we needed.

We also put the blizzard maker together.

We also took out the directions sheet and set it next to the blizzard maker.

Step 1: Cover the silver bowl with a cup so no ingredients get inside.

Done

Step 2: Fill the blue bowl with crushed ice.

We go to the freezer to get the ice and low and behold

...

No ice just empty ice cube trays!

Ugh!

I told Jacob that we couldn't make blizzard because we didn't have ice.

He was devastated.

His eyes watered and tears flowed down his cheeks.

It had little to do with not making blizzards and more to do with the fact his "brother" wasn't at our house.

I felt horrible.

I just wanted to cheer him up and make his Sunday night a little more easy.

That was my {perfect} plan.

I failed.

I thought I was prepared but I wasn't.

Jacob and I ended up just cuddling on the couch.

We made blizzards the next evening instead.

But this made me think how in life we feel like we have planned everything out just {perfectly}but things end up not going the way we planned.

And when life happens and plans unravel ... I need to remember to be thankful.

While things that happen are not my plan, they are in God's plan.

I know His plans are far better than mine will ever be.

For my {perfect} plan going awry ... I am thankful!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.

"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

mid week confessions

2012-01-04T10:31:00.000-06:00

Have you ever wanted to just vent? Allow your frustrations and short comings to be shared with others? Well then you are in the right place! It has been awhile since I made confessions on here {ok honestly it has been awhile since I have done anything on this blog ... sorry it will get better} and today I am ready to share. If you about thiswant to share then go ahead and click on the button above. Then you will get to meet E and read her confessions as well. So without further ado ... I present ... my confessions.

~ I just realized that since I graduated college on December 31st and I don't have a job so therefore I am officially unemployed. Not too happy this.

~ I have made myself a to-do list that consists of 9 things and I have yet to accomplish any of them.

~ I made a lot of pajama pants this Christmas and I still have one pair to go. I really don't want to go into my sewing again ... too soon!

~ Jacob went back to school today and I didn't look in his back pack until last night. I prayed that he didn't have any homework ... thank goodness he didn't.

~ We took down our Christmas decorations New Years Day and now I feel like my house is naked. Is it too early to put up Valentine's Day decorations?

Well I should start working on my to-do list before Jacob gets home from school. I do feel better now that I have confessed.

Currently I am ...

2011-12-04T20:14:00.001-06:00

Obsessing over: finishing student teaching (Dec. 16th), Jacob wearing his new glasses, and my 27 third graders who will greet me tomorrow morning

Working on: my professional teaching portfolio (just finish ... boo ya!) and finishing up my student teaching binder

Thinking about: the new adventure I will be starting in January (job searching), how 13 years ago when I graduated high school I never imagined myself actually being a teacher but here I am and I am so blessed, and how I am going to start the bookclub at church

Anticipating: making a pay check again, the Christmas season, and researching how I can get to Haiti to work in an orphanage with my son

Listening to: Jacob laughing

Drinking: lemonade

Wishing: more time, a heart for giving this season, and that I hear God's desires for my life ... I feel like I am at a crossroads

Summer Adventure {Brookfield Zoo}

2011-08-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

As the summer was winding down we decided to go on one last adventure to the Brookfield Zoo. The kids were so excited and it ended up being a wonderful day.

We started out by going into the butterfly house.

It was beautiful! All the butterflies reminded me of when I was a child in England and visited the butterfly houses there. Mostly I remember the woman over the loud speaker saying "Don't touch the butterflies" in her gorgeous English accent.

One butterfly loved Matthew and just sat on his hand for almost the whole time.

After the butterfly house we went on to see the other animals.

Of course we got pictures of the kids too!!

It was a wonderfully fantastic way to end the summer adventures. Now it is time to add school year adventures.

It is Me from A to Z!

2011-08-26T10:49:00.004-05:00

A. age :: thirty

B. bed size ::queen

C. chore you hate :: putting the laundry away

D. dogs :: none but 2 cats (Charlie & Fiona)

E. essential start to your day :: Coffee!

F. favorite color :: teal

G. gold or silver ::silver

H. height :: five feet & eight inches

I. instruments you play :: does Guitar Hero count?

J. job title :: mother & student

K. kids :: Jacob

L. live :: Chicago, IL

M. maiden name :: not married

N. nicknames ::Mindy Moo

O. overnight hospital stays :: once when I had little man.

P. pet peeve :: dirty dishes in the sink

Q. quote :: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away"

R. righty or lefty :: right

S. siblings :: three younger brothers ; Michael, Mark, and Matthew

T. time you wake up :: Starting Monday 6:30

U. university attended :: Benedictine University

V. vegetables you dislike: zucchini

W. what makes you run late :: over sleeping or assuming that it only takes 15 minutes to get anywhere

X. x-rays you’ve had :: my wrist in junior high

Y. yummy food :: pasta, rice, mexican food, grapes

Z. zoo animal favorite :: giraffes and penguins

Summer Adventure {Santa’s Village}

2011-08-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

I love my friend Donna and Donna loves coupons and groupons! She is always on the lookout for fun things to do with the kids. When she saw a groupon for Santa’s Village she purchased it right away and we scheduled a day to take the kids. We just went last week and had a blast.

Jacob rode on his first roller coaster!

We fed the animals!

They rode the horses!

They rode the hand carts!

They rode the semi-trucks!

All in all we had a great day!

Out Live Your Life by Max Lucado {Book Review}

2011-08-11T09:00:00.000-05:00

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 :

From the moment I saw the cover of this book I knew I wanted to read it. As you can see the cover shows a little boy with a towel wrapped around his neck like a cape. It looks as if he can take on the world. It reminded me of my son who does the same thing and then rides his bike around the block pretending he is a super hero. I used to be like that as a child and I long to be like that today. A super hero of sorts who can solve world problems while cooking dinner and cleaning the house at the same time.

I knew I was “made to make a difference” and this book was going to help to show me how.

This book is separated into chapters. Each chapter gives you a life lesson to help you make the differences you so long to do. At the end of each chapter you will find a prayer. Not just any prayer but a prayer to set your heart right with God to fulfill your dreams. Also, you will find a scripture to go along with your prayer.

At the end of the book you will find discussion questions and an action plan separated out by chapter.

Such action plans are …

“Pray for five friends, relatives, or acquaintances whom you think may be far from God. (If you simply do not know whether God is most important in a person’s life, then he or she could be on this list.) For each five names, think of the next time you are likely to see that person. Make a personal commitment to pray daily for your “Five For God” list.”

The action plans are things that you can do today. You do not need extra funds. You just need a willing heart.

I love this book and highly recommend it for people like me who want to make a difference in this world.

Prepare your heart, give it to God, and see all the differences you can make.

Summer Adventure {Photo Shoot}

2011-08-09T10:08:00.001-05:00

Jacob loves having his photo taken!

What can I say he takes after his Mom!

So one day this summer we had no plans and we both thought it would be fun to go to the local equestrian center to take pictures and see the horses.

The day was gorgeous and we had such a good time.

I love spending time with my little man!

Do you want to see some photos???

Here you go …

I love this photo!

The clouds were to pretty that day! and a little windy … hence the crazy hair.

I love the old fence and the look in Jacob’s eyes!

Of course we had to have a picture of his muscles!!

It was super fun to do this and we made such great memories!

Works For Me Wednesday {Swiffer Wet Jet}

2011-08-08T22:52:00.002-05:00

I love finding ways to save money especially now that we only have one income and additional school expenses. It has been tough but we are really trying to find ways to save money. {If anyone knows a frugal way to get cable please let me know … it has me stumped!} Anyway I was surfing the blog world one day and found a tutorial on how to open the Swiffer Wet Jet bottle.

Have you ever tried to open one of these? It is like a child proof medicine bottle for adults! Let me tell you it is frustrating.
Another thing that is frustrating about the Wet Jet bottle is that it costs $5 a bottle. That is crazy because it doesn’t even last that long. It may last longer in other houses but with all the males that live in my house messes and the use of the Wet Jet is inevitable.
So would you like to know how to refill a Swiffer Wet Jet bottle? You do … ok good because I am going to tell you!

First you are going to need

~One empty Wet Jet bottle

~A pot full of boiling water

~Pine-sol or your favorite floor cleanser. (FYI – I like Pine-sol or it’s off brand because it only costs 89 cents for a big bottle)

~An oven mitt or towel

~Water

Are you ready??

1. Fill a small pot with water and place on the stove. The water needs to get to a nice rolling boil.

2. Once the water has begun boiling, place the cap and the neck of the Wet Jet bottle into the boiling water.

3. Wait 20 seconds.

4. Take the bottle out of the boiling water. Using your oven mitt or towel try to take the cap off.

5. It worked didn’t it! That is my favorite part.

6. Now that the cap is off fill the bottle with water and your favorite floor cleaner.

7. Put the cap back on!

And that works for me!

Now That My Computer is Working Again …

2011-08-06T21:09:00.001-05:00

Oh boy! I cannot believe my computer has been funky for so long that I have been unable to post anything since June. It was finally fixed yesterday and I am so excited. I couldn’t even look at the blogs I follow properly.

Let me tell you it was rough! '

This summer has flown by and I cannot believe it is coming to an end in a few short weeks when I still have so much to do…. like school supply shopping.

Jacob is not interested at all to go back to school shopping which is making it more difficult.

All I have bought so far is glue sticks and a pencil box.

So much left to buy!

I was kind of thinking about the content of my blog and I knew that I wanted to add more how-to’s. I am trying to learn new things and perfect things I have done for a long time.

I was thinking … a how-to on how to make the perfect cup of English tea, give the recipe for my grandmother’s pepper steak over egg noodles and my very own tuna salad sandwich recipe.

What do you think?

What kind of content would you like to hear more about?

I cannot wait to update you on all the fun things that we have been doing this summer.

Getting Prepared ~ Showing my OCD tendencies {Giveaway}

2011-06-17T10:44:00.002-05:00

*** Edited ~ The giveaway has been extended until June 26th at midnight ****
I am not married and I do not know the first thing about being a wife. I am hoping to get married soon. Well as soon as Dan pops the question that is. So while I am waiting I like to read about marriages and how to be a good wife. You know be prepared for the otherwise un-preparable.
The first time I heard about Marla Taviano was when I was reading another blog {The Simple Wife} and Joanne was talking about a friend who just wrote a book called From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife. I thought that the book sounded interesting so I clicked on the link and found Marla’s blog.
I immediately became hooked on Marla due to her very personal super funny style of writing.
I ordered her book and read it cover to cover in just a few days.

I loved her perspective on being a wife, the hardships newlyweds face, and her honesty about her flaws as a new wife. She also discussed the dreaded topic of being a subservient wife. She changed my mind … completely!
So when Marla was talking about a new book she was writing I was intrigued!!
Then she started talking about what she was writing about … sex … from a husband’s perspective. I felt like I could not really relate but I wanted to help promote it.
She already wrote a book about sex from the wife’s perspective! I guess the guys didn’t want to be left out of the discussion.

In order to write her new e-book she surveyed real husbands … over a hundred of them … and received their honest answers about what they love about their wives, what they wish their wives knew about them, and their relationship with porn. Seriously, she asked the hard hitting questions.
I interviewed Marla about her new book and this is what she had to say about her new book The Husband’s Guide to Getting Lucky: Six Simple Steps to Great Sex with Your Wife.

Me: Why did you feel it was important to write this book?
Marla: Actually, I didn't really think it was important at first. I had no intention of writing a book for guys about sex. In my experience, guys aren't big readers, so I thought it would be a waste of time. And then I got several e-mails in a row from husbands almost begging me to write it, so I decided to give it a whirl. And I'm so glad I did.

Me: What was the most surprising responses you received? Did you feel like you knew what the responses would have been before the husbands even answered the survey?
Marla: I've been reading and writing and speaking about sex for quite awhile now, so sure, I had a pretty good idea what guys were going to say. But one question completely caught me off guard. #8--What is your relationship with pornography and how has this affected your marriage? I knew Christian guys weren't immune to porn, but I really had no idea how many wonderful, loving husbands have a real problem with it. The majority of them hate that they struggle with it and would give anything to get out of that trap. Hopefully I was able to offer a lot of hope to both husbands and wives in the book.

Me: What are you hoping that the wives take away from reading this book?
Marla: Well, technically, wives aren't supposed to be reading it. :) But I know they will be. I even wrote a little foreword for them in the book. A wife who reads this book is going to walk away knowing more about how her husband is wired and that sex for him is an important way for him to connect emotionally with the woman he loves (and is married to). She might even walk away feeling a little convicted of her own selfishness. But trust me, I didn't point any fingers at wives that I'm not pointing at my own little self too!

Me: What are you hoping that husbands take away from this book?
Marla: More than anything, I want them to know that there is hope for their marriage. That they and their wives really can bridge the glaring disconnect that's so common when it comes to sex. Knowing how your wife wants to be loved can go a loooooooong way toward making your marriage bed a rockin' place to be.

Don’t you just love her?! She really has a heart for God, marriages, and women.
So would you like to read her new e-book? Do you want to know more?
Head on over to the e-books website www.husbandsgetlucky.com.
You can go here to purchase your own copy for $4.99 which can then be downloaded to your IPad, Nook, Kindle, or even in PDF format for your computer.
OR …..
You can win a copy by leaving me a comment answering the following question …

What is your own personal definition of love?

So come on just leave a comment and enter to win. The comments will be open until midnight on June 26th.

Meet our Compassion Child and Summer Vacation ~ Day 5

2011-06-16T10:00:00.001-05:00

I signed up to be a Compassion letter writer at the end of May. When I signed up I was told that it could take weeks and months to be assigned a child. I was hoping that it wouldn’t take months but I knew God would select a child for our family.
Then yesterday I went to the mailbox and inside was my Compassion packet. We got our child.
Meet Iradukunda Diane our Compassion child.

She is almost exactly one year older than Jacob.
We read through the packet getting to know Iradukunda. Jacob loved learning about her.

He loved hearing about how she had to get water and firewood for her family.
He said we just need to send her water so she doesn’t have to walk for miles to get dirty water. (I love his heart!!)
We both sat down and decided to write her our first letter.
Jacob found a school picture of himself to include with his letter.

I am sending along a card reminding her that we love her and that so does God.

We are going to mail them out today!!
God heard my prayers and gave us this wonderful little girl.
Words cannot describe how happy I am.

Getting Crafty!!

2011-06-15T08:02:00.000-05:00

Ok so I try to be crafty. I am teaching myself to sew and also teaching myself some crafts that seem easy that I find from reading other blogs. So want to see what I have done?

I knew you would!!

I made this super huge, hold everything, and more bag. I found the tutorial here. It was so easy to follow and I think I did a fantastic job (if I do say so myself)!

The buttonholes were the hardest part but otherwise it was pretty easy.

Then I bought white metal stars but they matched the wall too much. So I had Dan spray paint them.

What do you think?

Then I had this great idea for a new memo board. A old frame, aqua paint, and yarn did the trick!

I am actually going to redo it because the yarn is not sturdy enough. But I love it for holding all of my wedding invitations (5 more until the end of the year).

Then we had this old coffee table and side table that I was not that happy with but they did the job. But then I got an idea and put Dan to work. I do not have a before picture but here is the after …

From this picture my house looks empty. Trust me it isn’t.

So that is how crafty I have been lately.

Does anyone else know an easy craft that I could do to spruce up my house or just one that is fun? Leave a comment I need more ideas!

Summer Vacation ~ Day 3 & 4

2011-06-13T23:44:00.001-05:00

Isn’t summer supposed to be hot? Well in the Chicago area it is certainly not hot. It is barely warm so we have just been hanging out. So we have done Spin Art …

Beautiful right?!?!

Then today we decorated cupcakes.

We have also run to the grocery store … oh the fun. Actually today the grocery store was the least fun event ever. Jacob hit his chin and then whined the whole time about how he thinks it is broken and then Edie threw up 3 times on the floor. Gross!!

So here’s to hoping tomorrow is warmer, nicer, and involves no throw up!

Summer Vacation ~ Day 2

2011-06-10T11:00:00.001-05:00

Oh boy was I cranky today. Last night there was a loud storm and no one seemed to get any sleep. When I woke up at 7 I expected Jacob to sleep for awhile but no he was up at 7:30. This is weird because when I would try and wake him up at 8 for school he would moan and cry.

As soon as I woke up I saw my patio table all tipped over and on the verge of crashing to the floor. So needless to say while it was lightning and raining buckets I was outside in my pajamas trying to straighten everything out.

I picked up my brother in the afternoon and we all went to the library.

Jacob got his new library card and then we looked at books. Jacob ended up getting the first book in the Boxcar Children series, James and the Giant Peach, and another book about vampires. (All I know is that when he starts reading it I am sure he will be sleeping in my bed. The very thought of vampires gives Jacob nightmares.)

Look how happy he is to get books … ha ha … not really.

Then when we got to the adult section I checked out some of my own books.

I checked out …

* Getting Your Kid on a Gluten-Free Casein-Free Diet by Susan Lord

*The G-Free Diet by Elizabeth Hasselbeck

*Gluten Free Girl by Shauna James Ahern

* Gluten-Free Baking by Rebecca Reilly

*The Kid-Friendly ADHD & Autism Cookbook by Compart and Laake

After the library we went to Whole Foods to see if I could find a mix for Gluten free bread. I ended up finding this …

I am planning on making it today.

After Whole Foods we came home. Matthew and Jacob watched Yes Man the movie starring Jim Carey.

I then cleaned up the house a little. Still cranky. No real reason why.

When Dan got home I decided I should probably make dinner.

I ended up making alfredo risotto with peas and chicken. It was so good and so easy to make. (It was even gluten-free!)

So day 2 wasn’t as good as day 1 but it was because I was cranky.

Here’s hoping that I snap out of my cranky mood for tomorrow.

Summer Vacation ~ Day 1

2011-06-08T21:27:00.001-05:00

As a way of remembering each and every day during summer vacation I am going to hold myself accountable to posting ~~something awe inspiring~~ something every single day.

I cannot believe that the first day has already come and gone but boy did we sure make the most of it.

To be honest, we slept in. Jacob got scared in the middle of the night, from what I remember in my half awakened state, was that it had something to do with vampires. He made me sleep so restlessly that I had to move him back to his bed at 4:30 this morning. So needless to say we didn’t sleep well at night but we made up for it this morning.

We lazed around until noon and then we went to the pool.

Of course I forgot my camera but it was so nice. Jacob thought he was just going to hang out with me but when we got there a whole gaggle of his friends were already there. He was so excited. He dove, jumped, slided, and threw a ball until 4:30 when we had to leave.

I read the whole time well that was until I got too hot and had to jump in the pool myself.

Do you want to know what I was reading?? Of course you do!! Well I am currently reading On That Day Everybody Ate: One Woman’s Story of Hope and Possibility in Haiti by Margaret Trost. Let me tell you it is amazing and it is really pulling on my heart strings.

You can buy this book from the website by clicking here.

Oh how I long to be apart of something like this.

I will give a review once I have completed it.

Tonight was his last soccer practice of the season. Jacob’s dad is the coach and he organized a parents vs. kids game. It was so much fun even though it was so hot. The kids received their medals for participation. Jacob’s dad even dumped the entire water jug on Jacob.

This is the Tornadoes.

And this was after Jacob got soaked!

When we got back Jacob and I went on a bike ride.

I haven’t ridden a bike in more years than I can count. My butt hurts a little but I am sure I will get over it. It was so nice.

After the bike ride Jacob and I made cranberry & orange muffins for breakfast tomorrow. He read the instructions and pretty much made it himself.

Now we are eating Dairy Queen blizzards.

Seriously this was a fabulous day! I cannot wait for tomorrow.

What is Love?

2011-06-06T13:38:00.001-05:00

I am pretty sure that love is one of the most "googled" words. And if you do happen to "google" it then you will see a plethora of definitions.

Why do people seem so confused about the meaning of love?

Here are just a few definitions I found when I "googled" ...

*Someone you would give your life for

*The perfect union of two souls

*The home you find in someone

*Finding someone who completes your puzzle

According to dictionary.com the definition of love is "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attraction".

The Bible also has specific criteria on what love is ...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.

Rick Warren says that " Love is making your problem my problem. Love is giving yourself to someone without any guarantee of getting anything back. Love is giving. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. And love is giving a person what they need, not what they deserve."

I think that Rick Warren's definition is the best. I feel that it is accurate and truly describes what love is. Love is a choice.

Today I am choosing to love those around me that may not deserve it because I want to do what God does.

Know that you are loved!!

My 30th Birthday!!

2011-06-02T16:46:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. To be honest I was not really excited to turn 30.

It really wasn’t about the number but it was more about the things I had yet to accomplish in my life. You know things that I felt like I should have done by 30 like get married, graduate college, and have more kids.

I do remember specifically thinking when Jacob was still a baby that I would meet a wonderful man, get married, and have more kids before I turned 30. Well that hasn’t happened.

Well some of it has happened. I have met a wonderful man but we are not engaged and there are no babies on the horizon until I say “I Do”.

Anyway, I am now 30 and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would have been. Actually, it was the best day I have had in a long time.

I woke up that morning and got Jacob ready for school. After I dropped him off I went to my Mom’s house. There waiting for me was a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

See …

Crazy beautiful!!!!

Thank you Mom!!

Then we headed into downtown Geneva to look around the Little Traveler and then eat lunch there.

The Little Traveler was wonderful! There were so many great things to see. All we ended up buying was different jams. My grandma got Lemon Curd. My Mom got orange marmalade and I got Apricot. I cannot wait for a slice of toast and apricot jam. {Don’t forget the butter!}

While we were walking back to the car we saw a super cute cupcake shop. So we went in. We all ended up sharing a vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting. I typically do not like cupcakes but these were great. It was funny when we walked in a little girl {probably about 10 years old} told us that they were already sold out of the red velvet cupcakes. Then an extremely pregnant woman walked in and asked for red velvet and was sad when they said they were out. Obviously they must be that good if they are coming specifically for that kind of cupcake.

My Mom even bought me one to go, Raspberry Truffle.

She had to include a 30 candle. {Fyi, the cupcake looked way better than this but it survived this well after to hot car rides}

The cupcake shop is called The Latest Crave. So good and I highly recommend.

I picked Jacob up from school and then we had to rush home to get ready for a soccer game.

His team won which Jacob was very happy about.

Once we got home Dan was ready to take us out to dinner to continue my birthday celebration. We went to my favorite place, Olive Garden! Soup, salad, and Ravioli di portobella … Yum Yum Yum.

All in all it was an amazing day. I really felt loved and did not feel remotely old.

*** On a side note I read this blog post and I signed up.. So maybe I can fulfill some of the things I put of until later.

Later

2011-05-31T20:36:00.001-05:00

Ok this post is all about honesty. Please do not judge me as I judge myself. (Yes you did read that correctly!)

Later is my key word. I say it all the time and to a lot of different people.

When I say "later" to Jacob it probably means not today and probably not tomorrow.

"Mom, can I have dessert?" ~ Jacob

"What kind of dessert would you like?" ~Me

"A root beer float!" ~Jacob

"Not now maybe later" ~ unfortunately me

When I say "later" to my friends it basically means no.

"Hey Mindy, do you want to go to the store?" ~ Friend

"Right now?" ~ Me

"Yeah, it will be fun!" ~ Friend

"Maybe later but not right now." ~ unfortunately me again

When I say "later" to Dan it means definitely not today.

"Do you want to do something?" ~ Dan

"Like what?" ~ Me (and yes I say sweet things like that - picture a little bit of attitude thrown in for good measure)

"I don't know. Anything" ~ Dan

"Yeah maybe later" ~ Me

But saying later doesn't just stop at my words ... I tell myself "later" all the time.

When will I feel like an adult? ~~ Later

When should I file bankruptcy? ~~ Later

When should I send out that email? ~~ Later

When should I update twitter/facebook/blog? ~~ Later

When should I make that phone call? ~~ Later

I would love to sponsor a child through Compassion International but that will wait for later.

I would love to start a gluten free diet in my household but it looks a little hard so I will start that later.

How lovely would it be to get up early and spend some time with God? Oh yeah but I stayed up late watching nothing on tv so I will just have to do that later.

I purchased a children and family devotional but why start that now when I can start it later.

I seem to be able to do other things instantly without saying "later" so why does all the things that should be important get put to the back burner.

I feel that there is more to this life and I missing out on it all because I figure I could do it later.

I am sick of waiting for later to come.

Especially since I am the one putting the stipulations on it.

I want to start now. I know I can't do them all but starting with one thing make just make me say "now" instead of "later".

Adult … who me?

2011-05-26T22:28:00.003-05:00

The other day my friend and I were talking about being adults. Since I will be 30 in 6 days and since she has already turned 30 we felt that this was an appropriate topic to talk about. Our question really turned out to be … when do you start feeling like an adult?

I guess for me I always thought that when I graduated from college I would be an adult but as of right now I still haven’t graduated yet. So that cannot be it.

Then I was thinking that when I had a child I would be an adult but I had Jacob relatively young so maybe that is why I don’t feel like an adult.

I thought that reaching the ripe old age of 30 would make me an adult but I don’t really feel that coming on as of yet.

I thought that having a mortgage and bills to pay qualified you as an adult but since I have had a mortgage, now rent, and I am filling bankruptcy and I don’t yet feel like an adult I know that cannot be it.

So what is it … What qualifies you as an adult? OR Does anyone ever actually feel like an adult?

I guess my *new* theory is that you can do adult things but never honestly feel like an adult.

I know that when I walk into parent teacher conferences I feel like I just don’t belong as if I am not really old enough to be there.

I still call my Mom whenever I need advice or just to have girl talk.

I still like going out with my wonderful girlfriends and dancing the night away to some local band at a local bar.

So what gives? When am I going to feel like a grown up?

Do you feel like you are an adult? When did you start feeling that way? Please share with me your thoughts.

I know Donna and I never reached a conclusion to our conversation.

It is getting harder and harder to breathe …

2011-05-17T15:44:00.001-05:00

It has been very hard day. I feel like I am dealing with a lot of stuff right now and I am finding it extremely difficult.

Emotionally I am drained.

It honestly feels like I am struggling to breathe.

I feel like I just don’t fit in my life. I feel like it would be so much easier to move away or go somewhere but I know that my head, heart, and emotions will all come with me.

I have these feelings about my dad, my family, my brothers, Dan, Jacob, and about one hundred million other things.

Nothing is feeling right. I am feeling lost and to be honest a little hopeless.

I want to know where I fit in because right now I fit in no where.

I have one side of my family that I just feel inadequate being a part of. I feel like I have to watch my words, facial expressions, and only say things that are covered in sugar and sunshine.

The other side of my family I feel like left us when my Dad left. I feel abandoned, unloved, and disowned.

When will I feel like I am at the right place? When will I feel like I belong and fit in?

I have felt this way for a really long time. I don’t really know what to do and I don’t really know how to resolve this feelings that I have.

I feel like I am sinking inside myself.

I am ready to let my family go. If they ever really wanted me they would have fought for me instead fight against me.

I am sick of worrying how my words are going to be perceived. I am sick of apologizing for things I have no reason to apologize for. I am sick of hearing that I can handle things better than someone else.

I can handle things because I have been forced to handle big things. I had no choice.

I may be strong but I am not unbreakable. I have feelings and they get hurt too. I can only handle so much and right now I do not feel like I am handling things well.

I need to give this all to God. I need to just hand Him my burden but I don’t know how.

How can I give it all to Him and not worry about what happens next?

I trust Him but I am scared.

I don’t know how to handle these feelings and I don’t know how to let go.

I am sure none of this makes sense to anyone but me.

I know this is a lot of ramble.

I just … don’t … know …. right now.

Because it is officially … HOT!

2011-05-11T10:39:00.001-05:00

I honestly thought that the weather would have gradually turned hot but yesterday it was hot and humid.

My feet swelled … well … because they do that when it gets hot and humid out.

Jacob whined and cried about how hot it was! I was a little whinny myself because I wore pants and stupid hot shoes.

Then … my friend Donna called me! We decided that dinner would be easy and quick. We also decided that it was time to break out the slip-n-slide.

GREAT IDEA!!

He really doesn’t look like a little boy anymore does he?? (Breaking his mama’s heart!)

Next up … Edie!!

She was quick … I could barely get a picture.

There we go now I got her!

Go Jacob Go!

No more sliding … just walking!

Seriously … she is always that cute!

I cannot get enough of these two!

How did this handsome devil get in here! (hee hee)

We ate some watermelon!

Then we decided it was time for something different …

CRAZY SPRINKLER!!

Jacob was jumping!

Edie was screaming!

Bike riding time! Who doesn’t ride their bike in a frilly swimsuit?

With their favorite (only clothed) Barbie!

The best part is that this was a taste of the summer I am going to have.

I get to watch Edie all summer long. I have wanted a little more girly in my life and she is the epitome of girly!

Painted nails, Barbies, frills, pinks, … OMG I am going to love it all.

How did you spend the HOT day?

I am 16 going on 17 …

2011-04-29T09:00:00.001-05:00

Well … except that I am not! I am actually 29 going on 30. In about a month I will turn the big 3 – 0! Aaagh!

Well to be exact …

I honestly cannot believe this is happening.

I should thank my Mom for reminding me about this.
I figured that turning 30 could be better if I feel better about me …. so …
by the time I turn 30 …

* I want to lose 10 lbs. (atleast)
* I want to clear up my skin. (Thank you Proactive)
* I want to stop biting my nails.

I figured if I put it on my blog I would be more likely to stick to it.

I thought I was going to start on Monday with my weight loss plan by running but in my neck of the woods it has been raining every – single – day! I do not have a treadmill so I was out of luck.

I did start using Proactive on Saturday night and I am already feeling so much better.

The nail biting thing is a little more tricky. See in May (of last year .. obviously) my boyfriend said something about me biting my nails. He asked me if I would want to show of my engagement ring (when I get one) if I have ugly bitten finger nails? He had a point and I figured the ring would be coming soon.

I did stop biting my nails for about 8 months .. the ring never came and I once again began biting my nails. They are ugly and short. And it is a bad habit.
So once again I am going to stop biting them … for me and for the hopes that I will get engaged on my birthday … maybe … hopefully! I mean come on I will be 30 and we have been dating for 3 years.

So … there you have it. These are my plans for the next month and four days!

Any thoughts or ideas on weight loss? Clearing up skin? Stopping my nail biting? I want to hear from you.

Easter Sunday

2011-04-28T16:09:00.001-05:00

We had a beautiful Easter Sunday!

With each holiday that we have I feel how blessed I truly am to have a wonderful family.

On Saturday we colored eggs (I didn’t get any pictures … boo) and made cupcakes.

On Sunday morning we woke up early and the boys had a blast seeing what the Easter Bunny left for them.

Way too much candy … hee hee!

Then we went to church at 9 a.m. The service was wonderful. Our pastor, Ron Zappia, spoke about the Doctrine of the Bible. It was a wonderful message to hear on Easter morning.

After church we went to brunch at Taphouse Grille. The food was wonderful. I could have eaten all day .. but I didn’t. We had custom made omelets, bacon, chicken fingers, chocolate fondue with fresh fruits, and mimosas!

D-E-L-I-G-H-T-F-U-L!!!

After lunch the boys played with the crane machine and each got stuffed animals to take home. (Did I ever tell you how much I dislike stuffed animals? I DO!)

From there we went to my Mom’s house and did an Easter egg hunt.

It was a beautiful day and I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Here are some pictures from our day …

Christian & Jacob

Christian, Matthew, & Jacob

My Mom & Me

Hill of Calvary

2011-04-23T15:39:00.001-05:00

I am so glad that we decided to put our own Hill of Calvary together!

Jacob has had so much fun putting it together, planting the seeds, and watching it grow.

We finally put the crosses in today … just in time for Easter!!

Here are some pictures of the process and our final product.

The seeds have just been planted!

Seeing some growth … 3 days later!

Finally, some real growth!

B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

Freed from sin because He died for us!

A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

2011-04-11T12:05:00.000-05:00

Just a few updates of what is going on in my little world.

* Jacob got his finger slammed in between two doors. There was a lot of blood and his fingernails is all different shades of black and blue. I am sparing you a photograph but let me tell you it is ugly! His finger is super swollen and extremely sensitive. I put a finger splint on it and it seems to be helping a little bit. When I brought him into school this morning we talked to the nurse. We both feel that it is best that he doesn't participate in p.e. or recess today. She also told me to keep an eye on it for infection. Her son got a staph infection when something like that happened and need surgery. Please pray that it doesn't come to that.

* I am taking my big Content Area test on Saturday ... please pray for me to pass!!

* My University Supervisor is coming to observe me tomorrow. I feel like I didn't have enough time to prepare but I am praying that all goes well. Will you pray for me too?

* Our church is discussing biblical truths about our finances. I loved the sermon on Sunday and I got a lot of information. Later this week I will be able to post what was said. They are doing a financial seminar at church on Saturday but I have my big test so I cannot go. The pastor said that he will be discussing financial business again next Sunday so I am sure I will have another post for you.

Have you noticed I have been posting more lately?? I am trying I really am.

Hill of Calvary {Step 1}

2011-04-11T09:00:00.000-05:00

I have read so many great posts lately. I have been looking for an Easter project to do with the boys and I stumbled upon Janna at Mustard Seeds: Growing a Big Faith in My Little Sprouts. She has a bunch of great Easter posts to do with the family.

My favorite one is called the Hill of Calvary. She gives a complete tutorial on how to construct it. It looked easy enough so I knew I had to try it.

We have constructed it and now we are waiting for the seeds to grow.

This is what we have right now …

I can’t wait for it to look all pretty and grassy.

It should look like this.

Photo Credit: Janna at Mustard Seeds : http://mustardseeds.typepad.com/.a/6a00e554ba6033883401310fa2c8da970c-pi

If you want to do this at home go to Janna’s post by clicking here to get the step by step instructions along with photos.

If I see anymore Easter posts I will be sure to let you know.

Another Dawn by Kathryn Cushman {Book Review}

2011-04-09T19:13:00.001-05:00

When life gets complicated, Grace Graham runs. She’s left romantic relationships, friendships, and even her own family after the death of her mother. But now her sister, Jana, is giving he one last change. Come home and help care for their father – whom Grace still blames for her mother’s death – or never show her face in Shoal Creek, Tennessee, again.

With her son, Dylan, in tow, Grace returns home from California. But is she returning for the right reason? And when costly decisions from the past suddenly put her son’s life and the lives of other children in town at risk, will she have the strength to stand strong and await Another Dawn?

First of all, I read this book in two days. It was such an easy read and each page made me want more. I loved that this could be a real life situation.

This book hits on hot topics such as organic living and vaccines and how it is seen from multiple points of view.

This book describes the life of Grace who is the single mother of a four year old named Dylan, which instantly made me interested. It goes into the family dynamics she has in her own family and in her romantic life as well.

I really related to Grace as a person and as a mother wanting to do the right and best thing for her child.

While I thoroughly enjoyed the plot line of the story I would have loved to have heard more about her past and why she feels the way she does now.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who is looking for a good Christian Fiction read.

{I was given this book by Bethany House Publishers to review. All these opinions are mine.}

Touches of Spring

2011-04-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here in Chicago the weather is not freezing but definitely not warm. The gloom outside hasn’t stopped me from bringing touches of Spring inside!

Daffodils placed in mason jars! Love it!!

Pretty, aren’t they?

I even added it to my mantel!

I love daffodils!

Now Spring just needs to be outside and not just inside my house!

My First Works For Me Wednesday!

2011-04-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

I have been spending quite some time reading through what works for everyone else over at Kristen’s blog We Are THAT Family. I love seeing creative ideas from Mom’s that works for them. Sometimes I know the ideas won’t work for me but sometimes I know that they will.

So with that in mind I have completed my very first Works-For-Me-Wednesday!

What works for me is a supplies center!

Before the art center I had a container on the counter filled with pens and pencils. Most of the pencils were not sharpened and they were missing the erasures. The pens were not any better they either didn’t work or were leaking ink at the bottom of the container.

I also had to scavenger the house looking for glue, scissors, paper, notebook paper, markers, crayons, colored pencils.

It was exhausting!

So when my beautiful cousin Tanya offered me a bookshelf she was not using I knew I could use it.

This bookshelf now houses all of my school supplies.

The top shelf holds cookbooks, binders, and chapter books. The boys are really enjoying the Magic Tree House series. To think I got these books from a resale store for $6!

The middle shelf right now is housing things bills that need to be paid, a stapler, and a basket filled with things that still need to be put away.

I didn’t think it looked this messy but I guess it does.

The bottom shelf is my favorite. I have a love of mason jars and I had a huge collection. So now all my jars (mostly collected from jarred spaghetti sauces) hold all our pens, pencils, markers, colored pencils, scissors, rulers, and crayons.

See …

Here is our change jar and our school fundraiser jar. The school fundraiser jar holds box tops and pop tops.

Markers and crayons.

Scissors

Colored Pencils.

The two doors at the bottom of the bookshelf houses paper, staples, notebooks, dry erase boards, glue, and a ton of other miscellaneous things.

So this is what works for me!

What do you think?

Words …

2011-04-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

Relief

My midterms have been taken which means that this semester of school is almost over! This has been my hardest semester and I cannot wait until it is over. Also, this is my last semester of classes. I cannot believe that two years have flown by so quickly! Next semester I will be student teaching!! Yay!

Fear

I have put off taking my Content Area Exam because … I don’t like tests .. at … all!! I am taking it the last day possible which means that I won’t know where I am going to do my student teaching! I have to pass this test otherwise I cannot student teach until the Fall of 2012. Please pray that I pass!

Lonely

Jacob has been in Florida with my Mom, little brother, Grandma, cousin A Dizzle, Aunt T and Uncle B. He has been there since Wednesday and I miss him like crazy! He on the other hand is having so much fun that he has only been able to spit out a few words at me on the phone. It has been the best trip of his life. He is learning how to skim board and he is thrilled. He comes back on Tuesday morning and I cannot wait.

Hope

I made the decision to see my dad. I haven’t seen him in over three years but we started off writing letters and then I allowed him to call me. He has been calling me a lot and we decided to meet. We met up for a few hours. He seemed … good! He was relaxed and didn’t fidget about. It was a little awkward to find something to talk about but I am sure in time that will come. I am feeling hope for him now, which totally makes me nervous. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much just in case but I really want things to get better for him.

Love

Dan has been wonderful! He has pitched in with dinners and helps with cleaning the house. He has been so complimentary with how I look and how I am putting the house together. He is amazing! He does not take me for granted and I love him more and more every day!

Jacobisms

2011-04-04T18:21:00.001-05:00

Jacob has been in Florida with my Mom for almost a full week.

Every now and then my Mom calls me or texts me to tell me something funny that Jacob has said.

Here are the two that I have just heard.

Security Agent at Airport: Hi. How are you?

Jacob: Good

SAAA: How old are you?

Jacob: I don’t know …. short!

Ha Ha …. obviously he was not paying attention!

My Mom: Jacob how was your hot dog?

Jacob: It was good but there was one thing wrong with it.

MM: Oh no, what was wrong with it?

Jacob: It was too short!

Hilarious! Obviously he has a thing with measurements.

I sure do miss him. I cannot wait for him to come home tomorrow.

Randomly Random

2011-04-03T11:01:00.001-05:00

I had no intentions of being away for so long. As with everyone, my life is moving at a crazy pace and many days I feel like I barely accomplished anything.

You may follow me on Twitter (@MindyMay) so you may know a little bit of what is going on.

~ Jacob turned 8 in February! I cannot believe how fast my little guy is growing up!

~ I am finishing up my last semester of school before I student teach in the Fall.

~ I will officially be filling bankruptcy this week. I am terrified at the prospect of this but I know I will feel better once I get this all taken care of.

~ We have been having some issues with Jacob in school. I do not want to get into all the details but I am extremely disheartened. I feel like I have been failing as a parent and I am at a loss of what to do. I do feel that his behavior is directly related to his dad and his plethora of girlfriends. I have gone into it before but this new behavior started at the same time his dad started hanging out with a new “friend”. Jacob is now meeting with a social worker at school once a week. I am hoping that Jacob can express what he is feeling to her and that I will be able to do what I think is right for him. Please pray for me and Jacob as we are struggling right now.

~ I am looking into different ways to treat Jacob’s ADHD type behaviors. I do not want to put him on medication but he feels dumb and stupid and I am not really sure how to help. I read a statistic once that it takes 20 tries to get the medication correct to treat ADHD. I feel that I can change his behavior and therefore help his self-esteem by possibly changing his diet. I am not sure what this is going to entail but I want to do something.

~ On a happier note, I am teaching myself to sew. Dan picked me up a great sewing book that had patterns as well. I made this bag …

What do you think?

If I let you look up close you would see swiggly sewing lines but from far way it doesn’t look too bad. I cannot wait to make other things.

~ Soccer season starts on Wednesday. I cannot believe that I am adding more hustle and bustle to our schedule. Jacob is thrilled. He gets to wear a white t-shirt which he says is awesome. I am just imagining all the grass stains I will be struggling to get out.

~ Easter is quickly approaching and I am determined to make it more memorable for all the right reasons. Does anyone have any ideas that can do that?

Well if you stuck with me through this long list … Thank you!

I promise I won’t stay away so long next time!

Peasant Girl

2011-02-12T23:55:00.001-06:00

Some days I feel as if I am the peasant girl who walks the rooms inside my very own house.

I tidy up after 3 boys without thanks.

I wash the clothes that previously hung upon their bodies.

I make the dinners that are rushed through too quickly.

I wash the dishes that fed them nourishment to continue their rough and tumble lives.

I read letters from school and work. Making notes on the calendar to signify the important days in their lives.

I make the beds that they lay their heads upon when the moon hangs high upon the dark sky.

I tidy and wash, fold and put away, read and shuffle, write and make notes, straighten and polish.

It makes my heart sad that I feel this way but right now I do.

Just the peasant girl.

It’s Saturday Night and …

2011-02-05T23:55:00.001-06:00

I am doing homework. Blah!

For homework this weekend I had to do …

Write a one page summary about classroom strategies
Read 3 case studies
Write a one page summary about The Herring Case
A compilation of assessments including checklists, self-reflections, interest inventories, observation forms, work samples, and questions to ask a reading teacher. (Had to find them all on the internet first – quite tough actually)
A lesson plan on using context clues to decipher unfamiliar words. (include a premade 3D sample)
Read 3 articles (find them on the internet first and there will be a quiz on them!)

I worked on it all day today and I am happy to say that I just finished it all!! Yay for me!

I have to keep on top of my homework because starting next week I will have classes, work part-time, spend 4 hours in a 1st grade classroom, take care of Jacob, do laundry, make dinners, … etc. The list never ends and most of the time I am adding more to it.

I guess a woman/college student/mother/girlfriend’s job is never done!

Blizzard 2011

2011-02-02T23:30:00.001-06:00

I guess people had a right to be Running Scared because we were definitely hit with a lot of snow.

Yes those are cars under the snow!

Dan woke up early so that he could attempt to make it into work. Yeah right!

By 9:30 this morning he had the driveway and sidewalk completely cleared.

Our neighbor didn’t even attempt to clear the driveway!

I am pretty sure we were the envy of the neighborhood.

About an hour later the snow plow came through and cleared the street … as best as he could.

So we decided to take a walk and check out the rest of the subdivision.

Snow was everywhere but Jacob was convinced this was the best day of his life.

Before we even left the yard he was already climbing in the snow.

He was having a blast until he saw the snow hill in the cul-de-sac. He just started running. By the time I caught up with him … this is what I saw …

Dan thought it looked like fun so he joined in too!

We continued on our journey around the block. I stayed in the street but Jacob decided to walk the snow instead. But he fell …

He loved every second of it!

Seriously … loved it!!

We almost got back to the house when Jacob realized he could touch the street signs.

And when we got back to the house Jacob decided street sledding was a great idea.

It did look like fun but then he tuckered himself out.

Doesn’t he look so sweet?? Peaceful even. And if you knew Jacob peaceful is not something he does often.

We talked to the neighbors, the snow plow driver, and the back hoe driver.

We kept the fire roaring all day long.

Princess Fiona loves the fireplace and won’t leave while it is going.

We drank mugs and mugs of tea and hot chocolate (with marshmallows of course).

Finally we settled down with our plates of Pepper Steak (YUM! I will have to share the recipe) and watched American Idol.

We are loving this season! Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, and Randy Jackson are hilarious together.

So that is how we spent the day during the Blizzard of 2011.

School is cancelled for Jacob and I again tomorrow. Poor Dan has to go to work. I think I am going to make English muffin bread and Lemon Chicken Pasta with asparagus.

I also want to create a Valentine’s Day craft with Jacob. Maybe we will hit the craft store tomorrow.

I love snow days!

Make Like a Tree but Please Don’t Leave

2011-02-01T10:00:00.000-06:00

When Dan and I first began dating we set down ground rules. Since I was in a serious relationship with Jacob’s dad and he had divorced his wife a few years earlier we both knew what we didn’t like when it came to disagreements and fights.

Dan’s rules are …

1) No name calling.

2) Don’t follow me around the house.

From what he has told me his ex-wife used to call him every name in the book and would follow him around the house continuing the fight.

I put those rules in my head and heart promising never to break them.

My rule was …

1) Do not leave the house ~~or I will change the locks on the doors.~~

I have had too many men leave when things get tough so for me it brings up a lot of issues when that happens.

I guess I am fearful that when a man leaves he doesn’t come back and in turn my life forever changes.

My dad left us twelve years ago.

Ryan left me 7 1/2 years ago.

Both times I was left broken hearted in a life not of my choosing.

Do you have rules in your relationship? I would love to hear them.

Running Scared

2011-01-31T20:12:00.001-06:00

If you are from the Midwest you are fully aware that a BLIZZARD WARNING has been issued! From what the weather reports are saying we should get 18 to 24 inches of snow by Wednesday.

Since I am from the western suburbs of Chicago I am used to snow … although 18 inches sounds … well …

CRAZY!!!

I figured that if we get trapped in the house for a day or two it would be a good idea to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few nights of dinner.

I made a simple and quick list …

1) Taco Soup

2) Pepper Steak over rice

3) Shepard’s Pie

4) Lemon Chicken Pasta with asparagus

5) Spaghetti

When I got to the grocery store everyone must have thought the same thing.

The lines were super long and people were getting cranky.

After what seemed like forever I figured it would also be a good idea to get gas while I was out.

The gas station close to my house not only was packed but they were also out of regular fuel. People were not happy to have to pay extra for the two premium level fuels.

People are seriously running scared!! (Hence the title of this post .. hee hee)

The only thing I am excited about is the possible cancellation of school for both Jacob and I. It would be lovely to stay home and spend quality time with him. (Definitely keeping my fingers crossed!)

The snow is supposed to start falling this evening and continue through Friday.

I will be sure to keep everyone posted about the conditions around me.

What is the weather like by you? Are you in the same boat as me or are you enjoying beautiful weather?

I cannot believe it is already Sunday night!

2011-01-30T23:17:00.001-06:00

Wow! This weekend really flew by with my getting very little accomplished.

I did spend an amazing Friday night with my college girlfriends. We had a glass of wine (Pinot Grigio – my favorite!), snacked on some yummy treats, gobbled up slices of pizza, and chatted until the wee hours of the morning.

I don’t think I have laughed that hard in so very long! It is so nice to be able to discuss school, professors, pre-clinicals/student teaching, and students with those who truly get it.

On Saturday, I slept in.

Truth be told I like being awake before the boys get up but this didn’t happen on Saturday. So from the second I was awake I was being beckoned to get drinks and breakfast. Two cinnamon rolls and a glass of apple juice later I sat down in front of the TV.

And there I sat all day. I watched movie after movie until I felt I should get up and be some what productive. So I got up and made dinner for my family.

Dan went out to run some errands. To be honest I think he needed some space from the giggly twins (Jacob and Christian). Those two can be such a handful sometimes.

But when he came back he had a present for me!! I love that man! I honestly couldn’t ask for more in a person.

One-Yard Wonders: 101 Sewing Fabric Project; Look what you can make with one yard of fabric! By: Rebecca Yaker

I have had my eye on this book for quite some time now – well ever since I got a sewing machine from Freecycle.

This book contains 101 sewing project all using only one yard of fabric. I cannot wait to go to the store and get some fun and colorful fabrics so I can try them out.

I am pretty certain I am going to make a great big bag to hold my school books for my first project.

Today was yet another unproductive day. I woke up late again so the gigglers were already up and at ‘em. They prepared their own breakfast this morning so I settled in with a great big cup of coffee.

I didn’t go to church this morning and I already wish I had. Going to church starts my week off on the right foot and I haven’t been in a few weeks.

I did go to Johnsen & Taylor with my Mom today. I love looking around at all the wonderful Christian books, art, mugs, and trinkets. Although I am not really a trinket person. I saw so many things I would love to read and hang in my home. I did buy one book called The Shape of Mercy by Susan Meissner.

I cannot wait to begin reading it although with all my classwork I doubt I will be able to complete it any time soon.

While I was gone shopping Dan hung pictures up around the house. When I came home I was so happy to see things hanging from the otherwise bare walls.

As for right now, I am doing laundry and finishing up some school work. Hopefully, I will have time tomorrow afternoon to finish the rest of it.

So that was my super unproductive weekend.

What did you get done (or not) this weekend?

Becoming a Mom … before you are married (Part 3)

2011-01-13T00:34:00.001-06:00

As my Mom sat at the end of the bed I looked everywhere but in her eyes. I repeated my question, “Mom, you promise you won’t get mad?”

“Oh Mindy, just tell me already!”

I didn’t know how to put my news gently so I just spurted it out. No good words. No calm voice.

“I’m pregnant!”

I will never forget the look on her face as she absorbed the shock of my news. She just sat there at the end of my bed. I sat there too. Neither one of us spoke any words.

In what seemed like an eternity she jumped from the bed and yelled, “How could you be so stupid?”

She stomped out of my room and walked down the hall.

I knew that she was still processing so I just sat there.

A few minutes later she walked back into my room, looked at me, and then walked back out.

She just kept doing that; over and over again.

I didn’t dare move.

I didn’t dare speak.

For the last time that evening, she re-entered my room.

“Why would you do this?” And the tears just fell.

I knew I disappointed her.

I knew this wasn’t what she wanted for her only daughter.

I knew that our family had been through enough to last a lifetime.

After that she just went to here room. Knowing her I doubt she slept a wink.

I know that I didn’t sleep at all.

Even though my Mom was disappointed and hurt I did feel a sense of relief after I told her.

I knew I would need her support throughout this pregnancy and I knew that eventually she would be excited about her very first grandchild.

Shortly after I told my Mom, Ryan’s Mom decided that she really wanted to talk to Ryan and I together.

I felt very nervous about dinner. I didn’t know what to expect since I laid low and didn’t go around Ryan’s house since his parents heard the news.

Ryan told me that she was upset but since I didn’t get to see her emotions I was sure what “upset” meant.

Ryan and I met his Mom at the restaurant she had chosen. We both arrived around the same time.

I just looked at her face to see if I could sense what was about to come. But all she did was smile so I set my guard done to enjoy a nice evening.

Maybe I should have left my guard up a little.(Hind sight is 20/20 .. isn’t it)

As we sat down at the table, before the bread came out, the questions began.

How are you going to raise this baby?

Are you guys going to get married?

Do you know how to even take care of a baby?

Are you sure you want to have this baby?

Don’t you think you are a little too young to have a baby?

And so on … and so on.

I thought Ryan would have spoken up since it was his Mom but instead he just looked at me. I felt like I was under attack and instead of Ryan sticking up for me he pushed me further into the line of fire.

I felt like I had to defend myself.

I tried to remind her that I have a four year old brother who I take care of.

Nothing seemed to help.

Dinner dragged on forever.

By the end of the evening I was emotionally drained.

I went home and prayed. Probably cried a little too.

Why am I the only one excited about this baby?

{To be Continued}

Becoming a Mom … before you are married. (Part 2)

2011-01-09T16:55:00.001-06:00

As the months went by my pregnancy remained a secret from many people.

I still hadn’t told my mother for the fear of what she was going to say and do. But I knew that I would have to tell her soon.

Ryan was struggling with not telling people. He had let the information slip to his oldest brother Chris who seemed unhappy with the situation. Although Chris never told me that he was upset.

In an effort to keep the pregnancy a secret Ryan became withdrawn from his mother and father. His mother noticed and one night she made him sit down and tell her what was going on.

As his lips opened all of his fears spilled out and his mother finally knew the secret he and I were keeping. Needless to say she was less than pleased.

Now that Ryan’s mother knew I knew I had to tell my mother next.

One afternoon as I was attending a baby shower for my soon-to-be Aunt, who was expecting twin girls, my Aunt Carrie came up to me and asked me when I was due. I am sure the look on my face was priceless when I looked back at her and asked her what she was talking about.

By the time I left the baby shower everyone was talking about me. I heard the whispers and the hushed tones as I went from table to table talking to family members I rarely get to see.

I wanted to tell everyone but I knew how they would react. It wouldn’t be reactions of joy but more of sadness. So I continued to keep my pregnancy to myself.

Later that night as I was getting ready for bed my cell phone rang. Caller id said that it was my grandmother. I answered the phone and immediately after I said hello she began her rant.

She told me that she knew I was expecting and that I obviously hadn’t told my mother yet. She said that I had 24 hours to tell her otherwise she was going to tell her for me.

With that she hung up.

I was speechless. I thought about her offer to tell my mom for me but I knew that wouldn’t be right.

As I laid the phone back down on my nightstand my mom walked into my room.

It was now or never.

I looked at her and asked her if she wanted to hang out in my room. She said yes and we watched some silly program on tv.

One show rolled into another and I knew if I didn’t tell her now I never would.

I looked over at her knowing that what I was about to tell her would change her life.

My throat went dry and I stumbled to talk … “Mom? Can I tell you something? Just promise me that you won’t get mad! Do you promise?”

{To be continued}

Becoming a Mom … before you are married. (Part 1)

2011-01-08T21:51:00.001-06:00

When I found out I was going to be a mother at 21 years of age I was excited and happy like any other expecting mom would be. But inside within my heart I was terrified.

I was terrified to tell my family and terrified of all the changes that would be taking place.

When I told Jacob’s dad that I was pregnant his reaction was nothing to write home about. He knew that I was going to go to a CareNet pregnancy center to take the pregnancy test and told me to call him after my appointment was over. The first time I called him he didn’t pick up the phone. He was at work.

Since he didn’t answer I called my best friend Jenifer. She did answer and I told her the news and then immediately burst into tears. I drove directly to her house so that she could be there for me.

While I was on the phone with Jenifer balling my eyes out Ryan beeped over on the other line.

I sucked up all the courage I had inside of me, took a deep breath, and swallowed my tears as I clicked over to take his phone call.

He asked out the appointment had went and all I could muster up to say was … yes.

He wanted to know what yes meant and I told him that yes I was pregnant … 4 1/2 weeks along.

Instead of excitement I got an ear full of choice words.

I told him that if he wanted to keep me from crying he would stop saying those words.

So … in his immaturity he told me a joke about a bear and a rabbit. Something about poop sticking to the rabbit’s fur.

Instead of laughing all my defenses and strength left and I promptly burst into uncontrollable tears.

He wanted to leave work to meet me but I told him not to bother because Jenifer would be taking care of me.

When I arrived at Jenifer’s house she told me that we were going to the pool. I put on my bikini ~~the last one I would ever wear that shows my stomach~~, grabbed a towel, and went to the pool.

I laid on the plastic lounge chair thinking about what was growing inside of me while the sun beat down on my face. To be honest the trip to the pool really helped. I didn’t want to go home because I felt my mom would look at me and just know. So I just sat on the plastic chair until the straps left marks on my legs.

After the pool I went back to Jenifer’s house. Her mom and stepdad were there. The house seemed suffocating so I went outside and sat on the hammock in the front yard.

Natalie (Jenifer’s mom) came outside and sat next to me. As I opened my mouth to talk about something mundane the words “I am pregnant” flew out. She looked at me and said that I ruined the ambiance of the hammock. She then promptly grabbed me up into her arms and told me that somehow she had already known.

After Ryan was done at work he met me over at Jenifer’s parents house. We walked into den and I gave him all the details of the appointment.

I told him that the nice lady at Carenet initially gave me a cup to take to the bathroom with me and told me to return to the office once I filled it.

When I got to the office she handed me a pregnancy test and read me the directions. We followed the directions and then she told that in three minutes we would know the results. She asked me a thousand questions while we waited to see the results. She wanted to know what my family would think if I would in fact be pregnant and if I had a good support system.

Those three minutes felt like a lifetime and then the timer went off. The lady instructed me to pick up the test and if I saw two pink lines the test was positive but if there was only one line the test was negative.

I picked up the test looked at the window and told her that it was negative.

She looked at the test herself and told me to check the results again.

I looked again and told her that the test said I wasn’t pregnant.

She told me that even though the line was faint I was in fact pregnant.

I didn’t cry.

I just sat there.

Since the test was positive she gathered information so that she could tell me when the baby would be due.

I told Ryan that the lady said my due date was March 3, 2003 … 03/03/03.

He didn’t say much.

We left the den and joined the rest of Jenifer’s family in the kitchen.

While Ryan and I were talking Natalie must have told Keith (her husband) that I was pregnant. He had two shots of Crown Royal whiskey sitting on the counter.

He handed one to Ryan and they made a toast to Ryan becoming a dad.

[To be continued]

I had a different ending in mind.

2011-01-08T13:40:00.000-06:00

Four years ago I signed along the dotted line and added two new keys to my keychain.

Before I went to pick up the UHaul truck I went to my very own condo, unlocked the lock, walked up the seventeen stairs, and the tears of joy began to fall.

I held my hands out at my sides and spun around.

My very first place!

Despite the fact that is was late February and snow was determined to fall all around - it was moving day!

I thought that we would call the condo "home" for two years. After two years we would sell it and make a little bit of money to buy something nicer.

After a year of living there the neighborhood began to change. At one time Jacob's backpack was stolen from my car along with all of my cd's. Another time we had gang graffiti spray painted on our garage door (and about 142 other garages and cars were tagged as well).

Another time our neighbor thought it would be a good idea to keep his dog in the garage throughout the winter. In order to keep the dog warm they placed a space heater in the garage. One night the space heater caught something on fire. Smoke quickly filled our condo and the fire department had us evacuate. We sat in the back of the police car for hours. It was freezing. Our neighbor never said sorry and refused to file an insurance claim. Soon after the family moved out.

By the time we moved out four months ago we were the only family left.

Dan's niece was going to stay at the condo so save up money and to help us pay the association fees. Three months later she decided that she didn't want to pay to stay there and promptly moved out.

Since the association fees were not getting paid I had to go to court on Thursday. The association is going to take my condo. While I thought that it would be the end but from what the lawyers and the judge said it isn't over yet.

This really wasn't the way that I thought it would end.

But God is in control over EVERYTHING! He will provide and bring me through this. Although today seems tough tomorrow will be brighter.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

2010-12-16T08:57:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was a super hard, over emotional, uber sensitive rotten type of day but by Friday I should be able to forget this and dive right into the holiday spirit.

So here is what happened …

Tuesday night I had a Final Paper to finish for my African Diaspora in Latin America class … yup you read that right … that had to be turned in before 3 p.m. on Wednesday.

I was writing and writing and writing and by 3:45 a.m. I realized I was not going to finish and that Jacob still had to be at school by 9 a.m.

so…

I went to bed!

I got up at 7:30 so get ready and then get Jacob ready for school. After I dropped him off I started working on my paper some more.

Finally my 17 page paper was done at 11:30.

One problem … I still have to study for my Astronomy final!

So I went through the 8 page study guide working out each question and I felt pretty good about it.

I went to school early to drop off my paper and talk with my professor (FYI – I still have a paper to redo and then overnight ship to her by Monday). By the time I was done dropping off my paper I went to study for astronomy a little bit more before the final.

At around 3 no one was in the classroom. I thought maybe it was scheduled for a different classroom. I jumped on a computer and saw that ….

MY FINAL ISN’T TODAY!

Yup I was at school waiting for no reason.

So my final is actually today.

I will be finishing up my work today hopefully. I still have a lot to do.

So that is what I will be working on today. Wish me Luck!

Let it Snow!!

2010-12-09T21:38:00.001-06:00

We had our first snow of the year! The boys couldn’t be happier.

Just look at them …

He is so serious!

Oh there is my smile!

Snowball FIGHT!!

Christian would rather build a snow fort

Just kidding … back to the snow fight!

They wanted to sled on the flat front lawn! They just sat there instead.

But don’t they look so cute!

They don’t need a hill … running and jumping is better!

Well jumping and sliding!

Here comes Christian!

He looks a little more graceful … wait … wait …

Opps … he fell over … and now …

He is done!

Jacob what are you doing?? Eating snow? Was it yellow?

I sure hope not!

Frosty the angry snow man and his little elves!

That is how we spent our first snowfall of the year!

Have you had snow?

It’s Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas and I still haven’t gotten my Christmas cards

2010-12-09T09:11:00.001-06:00

or any presents!

Ugh!

I cannot believe how close Christmas is and how little I have done in order to be ready for it. One of my favorite things about Christmas is that I can get personal gifts for my family and friends. You get to show them how much they mean to you and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

One way I like to show people I care is by picking out a beautiful Christmas card with pictures of my family.

Shutterfly has an amazing selection of Christmas cards at amazing prices.

I like these …

If I don’t get my Christmas cards out in time it may be Happy New Year cards instead and of course Shutterfly has those for me in case I need them.

Click here to shop Shutterfly’s Christmas photo cards.

Or if you are like me and running out of time, click here to shop Shutterfly’s holiday cards.

If you are anything like me (Type A and a little neurotic) having a family calendar is a must! Shutterfly has an easy way to incorporate your favorite photos and important dates.

There are multiple designs to choose from making this a wonderful gift for all the Type A personalities like myself. Even Grandma’s and Great-Grandma’s love personalized gifts with their grandchildren’s photos.

You can select wall calendars, desktop calendars, or year at a glance calendars. Click here and check them out.

This Christmas shopping may be easier than I thought!

If the calendars are tickling your fancy check out the photo books. They are easy to create (because they will create it for you using your photos) and are super cute gifts for everyone in the family.

Jacob loves looking at pictures of himself and I know he would love getting a book of all his baby pictures! Actually that is probably more of a gift for me but as a family we could all enjoy it.

Seriously, could these get any cuter?!?!

Check out all the beautiful photo book designs here.

I have used Shutterfly in the past for photo cards and I have loved the results.

B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!

Now if I could only find some amazing photos to put in them!

Have you mailed your cards out yet?

Did you know?

2010-12-05T22:11:00.001-06:00

Did you know that Shutterfly is offering 50 free Christmas cards to all bloggers? Did you know that you can click here to get them?

Did you know that you could get colorful Christmas card?

Did you know you could select an elegant card?

You can select whichever one you want!!

Maybe even this one …

I haven’t decided which one I am going to select yet. But I sure am having fun looking.

Go ahead Bloggers and get your 50 free Shutterfly cards here!

I would love to see which cards you picked.

I have a lot of catching up to do!

2010-11-09T10:10:00.001-06:00

I cannot believe that it has been so long since I last updated. Needless to say, I have been super busy. Besides the fact that I am working and in school, I have also been observing/teaching/helping out in a second grade classroom.

Whew!

It has been a roller coaster ride for sure.

Well Halloween has come and gone and we are now closing in on Thanksgiving!

I honestly cannot believe it!

So to back track a little this is what we have been up to …

Jacob ran a 3k Pumpkin Patch Race

He did an amazing job! He came in 36th out of more than 200 runners/walkers. Without the help of my wonderful brother, Michael, he wouldn’t have been able to do it.

Then we went to the Pumpkin Patch and picked out our pumpkins.

We love this orchard and hope to continue going each year.

How cute are we?!

Anyway, we brought our pumpkins home and carved them! Didn’t we do a wonderful job?

Jacob and I were struggling with ideas for a costume this year. All he knew was that he wanted blue hair and nothing at the Halloween store was good enough. So this is what we came up with …

He went as a ROCKSTAR! Not only did he get blue hair but he also had red hair. The jean vest he is wearing was his Uncle Chris'. This was his vest from high school. I love that Jacob was able to wear it.

It has been a fun month and I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

As of right now, I am finishing my third semester back at school and will be completing my final semester of classes this Spring. Estimated graduation date … December 2011. I cannot believe how quickly this has flown bye.

I am grateful to my family for supporting me during this time even though this has been an extremely stressful time financially.

Dan has been wonderful and encourages me every step of the way. I am thankful for his love and support.

I promise to update more frequently. I honestly cannot believe I have let my blog go un-updated for so long.

So that is what I have been up to … what have you been up to?

When My Little Boy Cries

2010-10-18T09:44:00.001-05:00

When my little boy cries it is because his mom and dad aren’t “boyfriend and girlfriend” and I feel horrible.

To be honest I don’t know what to tell him. Some information doesn’t need to be shared with a 7 year old boy. But he wants to know. He misses something he has never known.

So last night on the front porch as tears trickled down his face Jacob shared with me what he wanted.

“Mom, do you think that you and dad can hang out without me or Dan?”

“No Jacob your dad and I only hang out when you are around.”

“But Mom if you and dad hang out without me then you can just be boyfriend and girlfriend. I want to only have one house with just you and dad in it.”

“Jacob, your dad and I haven’t been boyfriend and girlfriend since you were a little baby. We are not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I have a boyfriend and your dad has a new girlfriend.”

“Mom, I like Dan and dad’s girlfriend but I would like it better if it was just you two.”

“I know honey. This must be very hard for you but unfortunately we won’t be together again. I am sorry that this makes you sad but there is nothing I can do about it. I loved your daddy very much and I was sad when we broke up but I will always love your daddy for giving you to me.”

The tears just kept coming and with that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore until … this morning.

He brought it up once again and I just kept repeating that it won’t happen and that I was very sorry.

It is amazing that this conversation happens every time his dad gets a new girlfriend. To be honest I am getting sick of it. I have repeatedly talked to Jacob’s dad about not bringing his new girlfriends around when the relationship isn’t serious. But obviously he isn’t listening to me.

This new girlfriend is a lot older than he is and is a ~~Desperate Housewives wannabe~~ a mother herself. Jacob’s dad worked on her house and then she asked him out. There is nothing like a 37 year old mother/housewife dating her 28 year old carpenter.

Jacob’s dad doesn’t realize that by bringing a lot of girls in and out of Jacob’s life affects him in a non positive way.

When you only have your son 2 weekends a month the girlfriend needs to find something else to do on those weekends. Because when they break up Jacob is apart of the break up too!

My heart is a little heavy this morning and Jacob got out of the car for school looking a little sad. I wish I could take his pain away and put his family together for his sake.

I didn’t choose this life for Jacob and I would have turned myself inside out to make it different. His dad choose this for us and today it makes me angry.

Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

God is all around us

2010-10-16T10:08:00.001-05:00

He is in the beauty of the sky.

He is in the color of the trees.

His light shines on us when we don’t expect it or deserve it.

He can be found in a laugh among friends.

He can be found in the silliness of a lazy afternoon.

He can be found in a chat between an Uncle and his Nephew.

God shows His love for us everywhere we go. Take the time to find Him. Take the time to love Him.

Things that make me feel old

2010-10-07T21:46:00.001-05:00

Today has just been one of those days that reminds me that I am getting older. So here is what happened …

My cooperating teacher told me that she is 30 years old and has been teaching for 10 years. …. Umm I am almost 30 and I still have a year in school left before I can BECOME a teacher.
My professor asked us what variety was. I quickly answered “the spice of life”. I got crazy stairs from my classmates. Turns out you need to be close to 30 to know that phrase …. GEEZ.
I ran into Julie at Walgreens. I used to babysit for her when her daughter , Kayla, was 5 and she was pregnant with her son, Sean. Now … Kayla is 14 and in high school and Sean is in 5th grade.
In my Classroom Management class we had to go around asking our classmates silly questions like what 3 things would you bring if you were stranded on a deserted island or what song describes you. When I was asked what song described me I said “Come On Get Happy” from the Partridge Family …. And when I accidentally said the Brady Bunch no one corrected me.
My best friend is turning 30 on Monday which means that I am getting awfully darn close to 30 myself.

So today I am feeling old. That is it. Just. Plain. Old.

Praising the Lord and Loving My Family

2010-10-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

It has been an amazing few months!

As you already know, we moved into a townhouse so that Jacob could continue going to school in the same district. The move went amazingly well. Almost every box has been unpacked except for a large box containing Jacob’s winter clothes. I will have to tackle it soon because the Fall weather is fast approaching. It definitely is beginning to feel like home. I think that all of us are happier here.

Jacob discovered that another 2nd grader from his school lives across the street and loves having someone to play with.

Jacob also is loving being able to ride his bike in the cul-de-sac, kick a soccer ball in the front yard, and run around without me having to run around with him.

Mornings have been much better this year. I am trying to get better at packing his lunch (and my lunch) the night before. Also, I have been ~~pre-warning~~ letting him know what I expect from him in the mornings. He no longer is fighting me when it comes to taking a shower, brushing his teeth, or putting his shoes on. Thank Goodness!

Another blessing is that Jacob is doing really well in second grade. So far there has been no need for a separate behavior plan and his reading has improved. He is taking part in a Poetry Group which will improve his reading fluency.

I have been enjoying my second year back in college. Although the work has been tougher and my schedule crazier. I am still loving it.

I am doing my practicum at an elementary school in Downers Grove in a 2nd grade classroom. I instantly fell in love with the students in my class and my cooperating teacher is wonderful. She has thrown me right into the classroom and helping the students. I even get to bring papers home to grade. (Remind me that I was happy about this when I have my own classroom and am complaining about bringing papers home to grade.)

I was actually in the classroom today when the school went into a “soft lockdown”. It turned out that there was a domestic violence situation at the end of the block and the people were unwilling to come out of the house. As a precaution, I was lead out of the building and directed to drive through the grass and over a baseball field to reach the street. I was shaking like a leaf for the rest of the day.

Also, I discovered that one of the students in my class, lets call him “R”, stayed home from school today because his father is being sent to Afghanistan. Please pray for “R’s” father’s safety and for his family while he is away. I am sure that “R” will struggle in the classroom for a little while. Please pray for me to have the right words to say to him.

I guess that is it for now. Look forward to pictures coming soon because Jacob has a 3 v 3 soccer tournament Friday night under the lights. Also, tomorrow we have soccer practice and Open House. I look forward to Jacob leading me through his classroom and showing me all the things he has done so far this year.

By the way, I am loving my family right now. Can’t get enough!

National Day of Encouragement

2010-09-12T10:04:00.001-05:00

Today is the National Day of Encouragement!

About a week ago, (in)courage presented the opportunity to get *free* hope and encouragement cards as long as we promised to send one or more cards out to encourage one of our friends.

I knew exactly who I wanted to send the card to!

I have been friends with Sarah since 6th grade. She was actually the first friend I made after my family had moved.

We have seen each other through highs of being asked to the school dance, the lows of breaking up with high school boyfriends, the cross country meets, and getting our driver’s licenses.

As we grew up I she came to my baby shower and I was honored to stand up in her wedding and attend her baby shower as well.

Right now, Sarah and her family is going through a hard time.

I am grateful that (in)courage and DaySpring gave me the opportunity to encourage one of my friends.

If you want to encourage one of your friends who may be going through a tough time right now send them a *free* ecard from DaySpring. Just go HERE to get it.

Go and encourage someone today!

We Are Moving

2010-08-30T22:09:00.001-05:00

After months and months of prayers from everyone … we officially have rented a townhome and will be moving THIS Saturday.

I feel extremely grateful to be surrounded by so many people who prayed for us, loved on us, and stuck with us through such a rough and tumble time.

I felt defeated for a long time and never thought that we would find a place to go. I started preparing for the worst and decided to email Jacob’s principal.

I informed him that we tried unsuccessfully to find a house in district for Jacob to start at his school. He told me to keep him informed and that he would work with me to get Jacob enrolled. (This was Monday morning.)

On Monday evening, we were informed that we were approved to rent a townhome in Jacob’s school district.

This was GREAT news and just what we were hoping for.

But … the security deposit was $500 more than we had anticipated.

On Tuesday morning, I went in and met with the homeowner to sign the lease and hand over the security deposit.

Our new landlord is a pastor. He has been the senior pastor of the church in town for 18 years.

Once the lease was signed and his realtor left the room. I told him that we prayed for this house. He smiled.

After the lease was signed we directly went to Jacob’s school and registered him.

On Wednesday morning, I dropped Jacob off for his first day of second grade.

Jacob has the teacher he hoped for and is very excited for school this year. Most of his friends are in his class and he says this is going to be his best year yet.

On Thursday evening, Jacob started soccer practice.

And … Saturday he officially had his first game.

Sunday we finally celebrated my brother's college graduation.

And today … I started back to school. I cannot believe that everything has fallen into place. I had my doubts. I doubted that God would find us a place to live.

I doubted Him.

But God once again showed up and showed Himself to me. He showed me to lean on Him on when everything in this world is on shaky ground. He showed me that He takes care of me and my needs. (Side note: Can anyone tell me the verse in the Bible that talks about how He takes care of the birds and their needs and how we are more important than birds? I do not know where it is and I would like to have it.) He showed me that when all else fails I still have Him and that He loves me.

Why I doubt Him? I may never understand. But God has once again provided. I am in awe of all He does for me.

Thank you so much for praying for us. I am truly grateful.

Entitlement

2010-08-19T08:58:00.001-05:00

This morning I woke up early with such a heavy heart of the circumstances I am facing unsure of what to do. At 6:15 a.m. I am sure I could have flipped on the tv and found some nonsensical program to drown out my thoughts but instead I picked up Pete Wilson’s book, Plan B, and began reading where I had left off in the middle of the summer.

I went to the balcony and sat on my navy blue chair with my steaming cup of coffee and pen resting on the matching table. I flipped to the folded down page and began to read.

The words seemed familiar and I realized that I had already read this particular part but I continued anyway. (I guess I didn’t have a pen handy when I read it the first time and that is why I didn’t unfold that page and fold down the true page I stopped at.)

When I began rereading the words one particular paragraph leap from the page and dug into my heart.

The process of becoming the person God wants us to become usually doesn’t come from success, success, success. It’s loss, success, failure, success, heart break, success, disappointment, success.

As I continued to read I also came across this paragraph as well…

Please understand, please prepare yourself because if you haven’t come up against the wall yet, you will eventually. God will allow you to go through something. It might be a loss, a tragedy, a life-changing situation, and there will be no simple explanation to why it is happening.

Here is where my entitlement comes in … I thought I had already hit my wall when my father left us 11 1/2 years ago. I thought that when I had to get approved for more credit cards in order to help pay the household bills at 18 years old was my wall. I thought that when I wasn’t able to go away to college like I had always dreamed of had been my wall. I thought watching my family get torn up from it’s roots and never get placed back was my wall. I thought watching my mother provide breakfast, lunch, and dinner with only $12 a week was my wall.

I thought life was supposed to become easier and that God would grant me the things in life that I wanted because of the wall I had already had to overcome.

I thought getting pregnant at 21 years old was my wall. I thought that when Jacob’s dad left me to pretty much take care of a 3 month old on my own was my wall. I thought watching him bring other girls in and out of my son’s life was my wall. I thought witnessing him try to forge relationships with other people who did not have his child was my wall.

In my eyes, I had already hit the wall, struggled to get over it (I still struggle with those particular walls and some days I feel like I have fallen back over it), and landed on the other side.

I guess I thought God would see how much I have already been through and provide me with an easier journey.

Now I look and I am seeing that my journey is paved with hurdles; maybe mine are strategically placed closer together. I am not sure exactly. Although right now it does seem to feel that way.

Right now I am in the midst of jumping yet another hurdle. God obviously is trying to teach me something during this time.

As my cup of coffee turned cold and my heart began to ache I read these final words before I came back inside to prepare for another day …

We’re called to be faithful to God even when it seems he hasn’t been faithful to us. We’re called to love him even when we feel abandoned. We’re called to look for him even in the midst of darkness. We’re called to worship him even through our tears.

Today I will choose to be faithful even though I am unsure of what God is going to provide for us. I am going to change my heart and raise my eyes to the heavens to provide the directions.

I am choosing to lose my sense of entitlement and enjoy this journey He has provided to me.

One Week Left

2010-08-17T08:31:00.001-05:00

Actually, yesterday was one week left. Today I have 6 days until Jacob is supposed to start school.

We are waiting to hear about a townhouse we put our application in for. My realtor said the renter doesn’t like our credit. (Duh! I don’t either!) But he hasn’t ruled us out yet.

Panic is setting in.

I still am struggling to sleep.

I don’t know what to do with myself.

Last night while I was laying waiting for sleep to grab a hold of me and pull me in I kept repeating … “Lord, help us! Lord, help us!”

I know He will but this waiting is driving me crazy.

What am I going to do if I can’t register Jacob for school?

How will I be able to attend school if Jacob isn’t in school?

This morning I just feel as if I can’t breathe!

Will you continue to pray for me and my family as we wait to find out what is in store for us?

Will you pray that everything will work out according to God’s plan?

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Insomnia

2010-08-08T02:11:00.001-05:00

I can’t sleep.

Day after day I cannot wait to lay down but the second I do every possible list or problem is running through my head.

*What are we going to do about moving?

*Will we get this condo?

*Will we be able to come up with the money?

*Grocery shopping list

*How will I pack the moving boxes?

*Will I be able to get a moving truck in time?

*Will I be able to change the gas, electric, and cable companies to come out right when we move?

*Will the district approve our request for transfer of schools?

*How am I going to buy my school books?

*The summer is almost over … did I spend enough quality time with Jacob?

The list just keeps going.

I have tried natural sleep aids and I swear that just increases my anxieties.

I normally don’t worry about things but this whole move needs to take place in a little over 2 weeks.

It is starting to feel like I can’t breathe.

I just need sleep.

Five Question Friday – 8/6

2010-08-06T09:09:00.002-05:00

Welcome back to another 5 Question Friday! I had so much fun last week answering the questions and reading what everyone else had to say. If you want to join in head over to My Little Life and hang out with Mama M.
So here are this weeks questions …
1. Are you a neat sleeper or a messy sleeper?
I am a messy sleeper. First of all, I love to sleep on an angle with my head on one corner and my feet on the opposite corner. Then, I don’t like my feet covered by blankets so I have to pull the blankets up to my shins. Most nights I toss and turn all night long which means that the blankets are all crazy and makes me dread making the bed in the morning.
2. Fill in the blank. I wish I was more ________________.
I wish I was more of a morning person. I would love to wake up early and be dressed and ready before anyone else wakes up. I do pray about it but I have not been transformed yet.
3. What is something that you wish you had been warned about?
I wish I had been warned about how hard it is to have a child in elementary school. You have to remember school supplies, reading, flashcards, homework, spelling tests, field trips, days off, and half days. I feel like I need a command center just because Jacob is going into 2nd grade.
4. What was the best thing you ever found at a garage sale/flea market?
I know this may sound weird but the best thing I ever found was a new version of a mounted microwave that I already had. I didn’t want to spend $150 dollars when the handle broke off of mine but a garage sale had the newer version of mine for $50! No hardware had to be replaced we just mounted it. Is it weird that I am so excited about a microwave?
5. If you could have any meal brought to you right now, what would it be?
A Chipotle steak burrito bol with chips and salsa!!! My boyfriend doesn’t like Chipotle so we never go but I on the other hand LOVE Chipotle and have been missing it for awhile now!
Well that’s it for this week. Come back next week … hopefully I will remember for 3 weeks in a row. To join in yourself or to read everyone else’s answers go over to My Little Life and hang out with Mama M for awhile.

Hello Mr. Stanley … It’s Nice to FINALLY meet you

2010-08-03T08:53:00.001-05:00

As you may know (or may not know – depending on if you watched) the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley cup.

To be honest we were not avid hockey watchers throughout the series but we did watch the final game when they won.

My brother works for the Village and got the opportunity to invite his family to see (and touch) the Stanley cup for 12 seconds on a Wednesday.

Jacob, Christian, and I decided that this may be our only opportunity to see the Stanley cup so we waited in line for 30 minutes and got our picture taken.

We were not allowed to take pictures because 12 seconds obviously was not enough time to make sure everyone was smiling and without funny faces. So they took the pictures for us and we finally got to see the pictures yesterday.

So here they are ….

Doesn’t my brother look handsome?

I am so glad that we got this opportunity. And we will definitely never forget it.

Thank you Mark for inviting us!

In the Midst

2010-08-02T10:35:00.001-05:00

Dear Lord,

We are in the midst of a great struggle. My heart is in knots and my stomach is feeling queasy. I am dreading the call to the realtor to be honest with the financial situation we are in. I am hoping that the owner and the realtor have a kind heart and give us a chance to rent the property. Please calm my heart and my fears. Remind me to put my faith in you and that all things will work out according to your plan and not just my will. Teach me to let You lead my life and that when I try to control my life alone things fall apart even more.

Amen

See through

2010-07-31T15:10:00.001-05:00

I know that my blog has mostly been upbeat and happy mainly focused on my beautiful son and our many adventures but today my blog is not going to be like that.

I am going to be honest and open with all the things that I am struggling with in my life currently. This is already feeling more difficult than I originally thought it would be.

I like my upbeat blog and showing my true self makes me feel very vulnerable.

But vulnerability can lead to great things and I will do anything to turn my life into something truly wonderful and honoring God in all his glory.

Right now things are really difficult.

In May, a letter was sent home from my son’s school informing me that I needed to show proof of residency and sign legal forms stating that forgery or deceit will lead to fines and possible court retaliations.

I didn’t want to go that route but I also knew that I am unable to pay daycare costs right now and that by using the school in my mom’s subdivision will give me a plethora of opportunities for someone to watch Jacob while I was in school as well as providing Jacob with a superior education.

I decided that foreclosing on my home that I purchased 3 1/2 years ago would be the best scenario since I would never get back the money I purchased the home for. (I purchased the condo for $129, 900 and right now the highest it would be able to be sold for is $83,000. Also the three remaining units in my condo building are vacant.)

All summer long I have been searching for a home to rent in my Mom’s subdivision since there are only two subdivisions that feed into my son’s school. Until 2 weeks ago nothing was up for rent. Then all of a sudden a home became for rent and I jumped at the chance to see it.

The home is very tiny but do able for me, Dan, and Jacob with Christian visiting on the weekends.

The renter wants a $2000 security deposit and obviously 1st months rent.

I am unsure how we are going to come up with the money and with the condo not being paid for we are in dire need of something to work out.

The realtor called me yesterday to discuss the mortgage that is being shown on my credit report and I have yet to call her back. I am nervous and stressed and unsure what is going to happen next.

I have submitted my prayer request to God and I know that he provides for the ones that love Him. I am trying to keep my need to control all things to a minimum and let God do what He needs to do.

Please pray for me and my family during this time. Without God I know we have nothing.

Bike2thePike

2010-07-30T18:26:00.002-05:00

Update:

I found the video of Dr. Robert Maganini setting out on his journey.

Did you see my grandma? She was in the beginning of the video.

Dr. Robert Maganini left St. Charles, Illinois today to begin his 1000 mile biking trip to Pike’s Peak, Colorado today.
If you didn’t read my Dr. Maganini post … please read it by clicking here.

My grandmother and I went to Sammy’s Bike Shop to see him off and wish him well.

When Grandma was able to speak with Dr. Maganini he remembered her instantly. He was so happy to receive her homemade card and donation.

The whole Maganini family was incredibly friendly and grateful for each and every person that came out to wish him well on his trip.
Before Dr. Maganini got ready to leave he gave a speech that had most people in tears – including him. He thanked his wonderful wife and supportive kids. He thanked his family expecially his father (who passed away in March of this year) and his brother who underwent treatment for brain cancer.
He thanked all of his patients (cancer survivors) for encouraging him to make this trip in honor of each and everyone of them.

He informed us all that everyday 1000 people are diagnosed with cancer and his mission for this trip is to bring awareness and find a cure for this disease.
So far he has raised … $40,000!!! He only intended on trying to raise $25,000.

Will you join me in praying for Dr. Maganini to have a safe trip, the 1000 people a day that are diagnosed with cancer, and the survivors of cancer?
If you would like to make a donation to Bike2thePike please go to Dr. Maganini’s blog for directions on how to do so. Click here to visit his site.

Five Question Friday

2010-07-30T08:00:00.001-05:00

I have done this once before and I really enjoyed it but then I forgot to continue to do it. (That is the story of my life!)
Anyway, well back to another Five Question Friday.
If you want to join in on all the fun head on over and visit My Little Life.
So here are this weeks questions and answers.
1. Did you have a favorite blanket or toy as a kid? If so, do you still have it?
I loved playing with my Barbie’s. I played with them all day long and even turned the living room into Barbie’s palace. I still have them all and I cannot wait until I have a daughter so she can play with them.
2. Do you dream in color?
I am pretty sure I do. Most of my dreams are very real and I wake up wondering if it really happened or not.
3. How tall are you? Do you wish you were shorter or taller?
I am 5’8’’ and I totally wish I was shorter. I think that 5’6’’ is the ideal height for girls.
4. If you could have anyone's (celeb or other) voice as the guide on your GPS, who would it be?
I would love to have the guy from the show Forensic Files. Actually, that probably won’t be a good idea because his voice makes me sleepy.
5. Do you return your shopping cart to the corral or leave it wherever in the parking lot?
I always return the cart to the corral. It drives me insane when I go to pull into a spot and someone left there cart there. Grrr1
Well I hope you had as much fun as I did. Hopefully I will remember to continue this every week.

Midwest Flooding

2010-07-26T20:47:00.001-05:00

The rain started coming Friday night and didn’t end until late in the morning on Saturday.

The rain came so fast it seemed like all rivers and ponds flooded like crazy.

My grandmother’s basement was flooded so badly it almost reached the first floor.

Westchester Illinois has been declared in a State of Disaster.

My mother’s subdivision was flooded and roads were closed. Several houses you could visibly see water pouring into their house.

Many people are without flood insurance and extreme repairs are necessary.

As if the poor state of the economy wasn’t enough, many families had to stay in hotels or find alternate housing until the water drained out.

Would you please join me in prayer for the families that this has affected?

Can you believe that main roads are hidden beneath the water?

We decided to take the children out to see how bad it is. We have talked as a family about what this means for these families. It was a very humbling experience and I am grateful that no lives were taken during this time.

I am committed to pray for everyone involved … Will you join me?

Dr. Maganini

2010-07-20T21:51:00.001-05:00

Photo courtesy of http://bike2thepike.com

Dr. Robert Maganini is a 49 year old breast surgeon and breast cancer specialist.

Several years ago my grandmother had the pleasure to meet and be treated by Dr. Maganini under very un-pleasurable circumstances.

This is my grandma! She is the most wonderful grandmother any grand daughter would ever want. She is thoughtful, caring, giving, and loves the Lord with all her heart. She is my shoulder to lean on and I feel that we have a special connection. We talk almost every day and I don’t know what I would do without her.

But …

she was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago.

That is when she first met Dr. Maganini. I haven’t had the opportunity to meet the good Doctor in person but with the way my grandmother gushes about him I am sure I would love him like she does.

Dr. Maganini provided my grandmother with the most amazing care and praise the Lord …

SHE IS CANCER FREE!

On July 30th at 8:30 am Dr. Maganini will be leaving from Sammy’s Bikeshop in St. Charles Illinois and bike riding his way all the way to Pike’s Peak, Colorado.

That is over 1000 miles!!

Why would this amazing breast cancer specialist be doing such a crazy thing??

Well … He is raising money ($25,000 to be exact) for Susan G. Komen for the Cure and for the American Brain Cancer Association.

My grandmother has submitted her donation and we will be at Sammy’s Bikeshop to be with him as he sets off on his 12 day journey.

If you are interested in making a donation to Dr. Robert Maganini’s journey click here. There are a few options on how to make your donation.

If you are unable to make a donation please pray for him while he is on his journey. Most of his ride will be solo.

If you want to track him as he makes his journey please visit Bike2thePike(dot)com or click here.

I am looking forward to being there as he sets off on his “challenging and symbolic” journey.

Prayer Request!

2010-07-19T20:04:00.003-05:00

Updated: I have an appointment to visit this house tomorrow at Noon! From what the Realtor said the owner is looking for a long term lease - which I would be so happy with! Also, I am hoping that if we do sign at least a two year lease he would drop the rental price. Please keep praying!

As you may or may not have known, before the last week of August we need to leave our condo.
I have been trying to find a house to rent in the subdivision that will allow Jacob to remain at the same elementary school.
Up until about 20 minutes ago there was nothing! Diddly squat!
But 20 minutes ago a house popped up that is for rent!
Praise the Lord!
I immediately emailed the realtor to schedule a showing.
If you wouldn’t mind, would you please pray for my family that this property is still available and in our price range?
I already appreciate your prayers!

7 years later I must have lost my mojo

2010-07-16T21:26:00.001-05:00

Sorry the picture is so crummy but honestly do you see this little sweetie? This is baby Drea, a one year old, who I have been watching the past few days. (FYI – this picture is from one of two naps that she had the entire 3 days I had her.)

I have loved cuddling and smooching on her sweet little face and I will be sad to see her go tomorrow.

But I have to admit I think I lost my nighttime mojo. She barely slept at night. I was up every hour crying and wanting a bottle. Nothing I did calmed her down. I put her in my bed and she screamed. I put her in a pack and play and she screamed. I laid on the couch with her and she screamed. Finally she succumbed to her tiredness and passed out on her own.

While I will miss her terribly I am looking forward to a great night’s sleep.

I wish I could post more but my eyes are rolling to the back of my head.

I will be catching up on the summer in the next few days.

Have a happy weekend!

Fearless

2010-07-10T12:29:00.001-05:00

We have been spending a lot of time at the pool. Jacob has never taken swimming lessons but I have taught him the best I could at the local pool or at my friend Donna’s in-laws pool. At Donna’s in-laws pool there is a tiny blue diving board that he has been allowed to jump off. Once he pops up after diving he doggie paddles with all of his might to reach the ladder.

Yes this is foreboding!

Yesterday we were at a new pool and there was a high dive diving board. My little brother Matthew was doing back flips off of it and Jacob wanted to try it out.

Since I was right there, along with 3 other lifeguards, I told him that he could.

He climbed up to the top.

Made his way to the edge.

Got ready …

and jumped.

Landing with a splash!

His wave let me know he was ok.

I am telling you … my son is fearless.

I Want To Be A Super Model

2010-07-08T13:27:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a very weird day. The weather was super hot but it was also supposed to rain. Instead of spending $21 dollars to go to the local pool we decided to spend $5 and go to Cantigny Park. The boys would strike a pose and then tell me to take their pictures. We spent a good two hours running around, posing, taking photos, and playing in the fountains. Do you think we had a good day?

Book Review - I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith

2010-07-06T10:37:00.000-05:00

As I have said before, I have been a reading machine this summer. One of the books I have read is I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith. To be honest I never thought I would have read this book because I have never experienced the loss of a child. But when Barnes & Noble offered this book as a free ebook I decided to read it. I have been following Angie Smith's blog Bring The Rain for a couple of years now so I figured I knew her whole stoy.Boy was I wrong!

I Will Carry You is not a book just for someone who is experiencing the loss of a child but it is also for everyone who has to overcome something painful in their life.

Borders.com describes the book as follows ...

In 2008, Angie Smith and her husband Todd (lead singer of the group Selah) learned through ultrasound that their fourth daughter had conditions making her "incompatible with life." Advised to terminate the pregnancy, the Smiths chose instead to carry this child and allow room for a miracle. That miracle came the day they had Audrey Caroline and got the chance to love her for the precious two-and-a-half hours she lived on earth. Upon receiving the original diagnosis, Angie started a blog (Bring the Rain) to keep family and friends informed of their journey. Soon, the site exploded in popularity, connecting with thousands who were either experiencing their own heartbreaking situations or simply curious about how God could carry someone through something so tragic. I Will Carry You tells the powerful story of a parent losing her child, interwoven with the biblical story of Lazarus to help those who mourn to still have hope - to find grace and peace in the sacred dance of grief and joy.

I thought that by reading Angie's blog I knew everything that there was to know about Angie and Todd's story but this story shared more details and was really spoken from her heart.

I loved that every chapter started with a quote. I loved how you could feel Angie's emotions and love for God. I felt a sense of comfort when Angie cried out to God in anger and frustration. I was encouraged when Angie leaned on not her own understanding but on God's.

A few of my favorite quotes from the book are ...

* "I'm sure that you can think of areas in life where you feel let down by God, even things that have pushed you away from relationship with Him. I won't say I don't understand the questioning because quite frankly it makes all the human sense in the world. What kind of God watches a mother hold her dying baby?"

* "I believe that everything that happens in our lives, however awful, is an opportunity to bring glory to Jesus. Have I wished it had been in a different way? Of course I do. And you probably do too. If I choose to, I can hold that against Him. I can let it embitter me for the rest of my days, as I walk around finding holes in everything He has done. All of us will have times of crisis. The most we can do is put our hands on the stone and accept what happens next with the grace that says circumstances will define neither God's love for us nor our love for God."

* "He gives and He takes away. Have I had moments of genuine questioning where I blamed myself and anyone else I could? Yes. But when those thoughts come, and they will, we must make a choice about who we will be from this day forward. Either we will go through life as bitter servants, or we will make Him famous with our love. I want Him to be famous."

* "Whatever it is, a loss, a divorce, a death, a hurt, something you feel is out of your control, forgotten by the One who could make it right again - know this. He has not forgotten. He heard you call."

* "Many things in this life are not meant to be understood. We are simply not strong enough to bear them, but where there are gaps in our understanding, there is also the grace of God who has chosen to carry the traveling case for us. Our role is to trust it into His keeping."

If you felt that this book isn't for you - think again. This book is for everyone. Through Angie's book I have learned that while I cannot control the bad things that happen in my life but I can control how I show God's love through each of my trials.

I highly recommend this book to everyone and if you were unable to get the free ebook through Barnes & Noble click the link and it will take you to Amazon.com for purchase.You will not be disappointed.
I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy

I am a Reading Machine

2010-07-03T14:23:00.000-05:00

I have been doing a lot of reading this summer. While Jacob was in basketball camp I would head over to Panera Bread, order a cup of coffee, and settle in for an hour and a half of reading. Even though basketball camp is now over I still fully intend on reading much more this summer.
So far this summer I have already read …

I will do a book review on each of these books very soon.

Right now I am reading ...

I am loving this book and can't wait to finish it.

Do you read more over the summer? What book are you reading currently?

The Kind Diet

2010-07-02T13:13:00.001-05:00

I am just wondering if anyone has ever tried The Kind Diet? I think it is basically organic, vegan eating.

I went to The Kind Life online and was reading success stories of people who has started this way of eating. I have suffered for many years with an upset stomach. I feel either nasous, bloated, or full all. the. time!

The success stories I have read made me wonder about trying this diet. They say that they feel more energetic, their stomach problems have disappeared, and their skin looks healthy. (On a side note ... I have been breaking out like a hormonal teenager! The skin clearing statements are pushing me over the edge into trying this)

I feel like I eat a basically healthy diet. I drink very little pop and rarely have fast food items. (Although, I could eat McDonald's french fries every single day) but obviously my stomach issues have only gotten worse over the years and it would be wonderful if they altogether disappeared.

Also, another mother commented that it subsided symptoms of her son's ADHD. That would be wonderful for Jacob.

I would love everyone's thoughts, comments, ideas on this type of eating. Have you ever tried a vegan diet? Do you have stomach issues like I do? Would you be willing to change your lifestyle?

I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

Can you believe it is already July?

2010-07-02T09:23:00.000-05:00

Well I can't! It seems like June flew by way to quickly and this summer is going way to fast for my liking. I am enjoying my summer with Jacob. I never thought I would be able to spend an entire summer with him.

Starting tonight Christian will be spending the month of July with us. It will be nice for Jacob to have a constant companion to play with but to be honest I am a little nervous. Now I have to make sure not one but two children are well entertained.

I am sure we will continue to go to the pool three times a week like we are now but what about the two other days in the week? I am looking into a class that both boys can take together. My friend Donna offered to sign them up for a Summer Science class that would last two weeks and I am looking into swim lessons since neither boy is a good swimmer.

I am sure July will go quickly and that both boys will enjoy their time together. I am hoping that Christian and I become closer and develop a good relationship.

On another note, I am still looking for a house to rent or rent to own so that Jacob can go to the same elementary school. As of right now there is only one possibility and the owners are unsure if they are willing to rent it out. I am hoping that God will provide this house for us and that it is in a price range we can afford. Will you pray for us and our search to find a place to call home?

Is there anything you need prayers for? I am always willing to pray for you.

Hopefully, I will be able to post an update on the housing situation soon. Also, I will update what Jacob and Christian are up to throughout the summer.

Happy July!

My blessed soon-to-be blended family

2010-06-21T12:39:00.001-05:00

My Stick Family from WiddlyTinks.com

Let me start this post by saying …. No Dan and I are not engaged. We are however in talks of getting married in the near future but he hasn’t asked and I haven’t said yes … yet.

Being in a blended family relationship is difficult and while the Brady Bunch idealized these relationships it is not always the case.

First of all it is not just your typical dating relationship involving 3 hour midnight phone calls, long walks on the beach, and fly bye the seat of your pants dates. It is more than just Dan and I involved.

To understand the complexity of such a relationship you have to see all the relationships involved.

The first and most important relationship is of course 1.My relationship with Dan.

Then you have …

2. My relationship with my son.

3. His relationship with his son.

4. My son and his son’s relationship.

5. My relationship with his son.

6. His relationship with my son.

7. His relationship with his ex-wife.

8. My relationship with my ex-boyfriend.

9. My relationship with his ex-wife.

10. His relationship with my ex-boyfriend.

That is a lot of relationships involved just because Dan and I want to date!

Besides the number of relationships involved in blended family dating you also have to deal with baggage from past relationships.

I have to be able to help Dan overcome issues he had with his ex-wife and he has to help me overcome issues I have with my ex-boyfriend.

Communication is the key ingredient in all of those relationships but it is not always easy.

Yesterday was an extremely tough day for both Dan and I because of lack of communication.

There was a lot of hurt feelings, feelings of loneliness, and my own touch of insecurity.

To start, I do not like Father’s Day because I miss my father and I do not like to miss him.

I become insecure when I am waiting on someone to come home because I have had people in my life never come back home.

I sit and I waited … fury was beginning to boil over … insecurity crept into every crevice … but I was the only one upset.

Dan and his son went fishing … I feel fishing lasts 2 or 3 hours … Dan feels fishing lasts all day and into the evening. Communication Error #1

Dan wanted his son to stay the night and hang out with me and Jacob for the day … I knew nothing about this and Jacob has basketball camp for the next two weeks. Communication Error #2

Dan’s cell phone died shortly after starting his fishing adventure. Communication Error #3

Dinner was made … table was set … I sat waiting … and waiting … ate dinner alone. Dan was unaware of my dinner plans. Communication Error #4

A lot of unkind words were said and fighting ensued. This could have been easily avoided if we just talked about this before hand.

So in light of my new … keeping it fresh, simple, and without expectation summer … I am also adding keep the lines of communication open to my list. That way my blessed soon-to-be blended family will be happier with a lot less hurt feelings.

I love my blessed soon-to-be blended family and I can’t imagine my life any other way.

What a week!

2010-06-20T16:19:00.001-05:00

So … it has been one week since summer vacation started and Jacob has already completed Summerfest at Harvest Bible Chapel. Jacob loved attending for five nights in a row and was a little sad when it ended. He came home with a baseball cap in which he colored and labeled with “I love Jesus” and “Yo, dude”. Not sure why he put “yo, dude” on his hat but he loves it.

He also made a flower pot holding 3 flower pens that he made all by himself.

He was so excited to bring it home and show it to me.

In between the Summerfest festivities Jacob and I also made our way to Storytime in the Garden at a local park. Although we could barely hear the story being told we still had a blast hanging out in the fountains and by the flowers.

Jacob even got to climb on military tanks and pretend he was in a war.

So far summer has been fantastic. I am looking forward to everything else it has in store for the two of us.

Summer Vacation

2010-06-14T10:56:00.001-05:00

Today is my first official day of summer vacation. After much thought I decided that this summer I should not work but instead spend time with Jacob (who in my opinion is growing up way too fast for my liking!). I am looking forward to spending time at the library, the pool, the park, and going on fun adventures.

Normally when I am overly excited about something I expect way too much and then become greatly disappointed with the way it turns out. Not this summer! I am just going to go with the flow – if it rains we will hang indoors watching movies, reading books, and writing letters. I am refusing to expect too much from this vacation.

If I was expecting too much from this summer I would have already been thrown for a loop. I tried to get to bed early so I could wake up early to get a good walk in before Jacob woke up. But sleeping did not come easy last night … I tossed and turned, got up, read a magazine, took a Kava, went back to bed, tossed and turned some more, woke up every thirty minutes starting at 6 a.m., woke up at 9, and saw the rain dripping down the windows. Ugh! Not what I planned but that is ok!

I am drinking my coffee as Jacob continues his slumber. He must really need his sleep!

So instead of my previous plans I am drinking coffee, reading others blogs, and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Tonight Jacob has Summerfest (Vacation Bible School) at church and hopefully we can get to the library at some point today.

So this summer I plan to go with the flow and enjoy every moment.

What are your plans for the summer?

I need a gold star! Do you?

2010-06-08T22:44:00.001-05:00

For the past few days I have had this post floating around my head. It really touches home for me, which is why it was not something I could post immediately. I had to think about my feelings and mull it around in my head to accept that my feelings may be shared by other people.

So here goes … (insert several deep breaths here)

I long for acceptance and approval all day long and every single day of the year. On holidays this feeling is only amplified by a million.

When I wake up in the morning I long for someone to tell me that I look nice or that the outfit I have chosen for the day is a good choice.

For birthdays and holidays I check and double check from everyone who would listen that the present I choose was the best choice possible.

Since I have been back at work I secretly (not so secretly anymore) enjoy the comments from my co-workers that I am the only one that can perform a certain task.

Now that I am back in school I hang my “A” papers on the fridge and when I was asked to join Kappa Delta Pi (the International Education Honors Society) I planned my future role as the President.

I want everyone to see that I am doing a great job and I look for the gold star recognition.

Everything I do I look for my gold star of approval. To be honest it is e-x-h-a-u-s-t-i-n-g!!

When I clean out a kitchen cabinet, I ask Dan to look at it, and then I wait for him to tell me that I did a good job.

Why am I like this?

Until recently I didn’t even realize that I have this problem. I actually discovered my less than desirable motive by reading the book The Happiness Project; Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin.

In Gretchen’s book she admits to this behavior as well. Gretchen says, “I nagged Jamie [her husband] to give me more praise. I realized that what I really wanted – even more than help – was for Jamie to say something such as ‘Wow, the photograph of the girls is terrific! You’re doing a great job with these Valentine’s cards!’ I wanted that gold star stuck to my homework. Why did I have such a need for gold stars? Was it vanity that needed to be stoked? Was it insecurity that needed to be soothed? Whatever the reason, I knew I should get over my need for Jamie to applaud the nice things I did, and, even more, I should get over my need for Jamie even to notice the nice things I did.”

Reading those words were like a slap to the face. Then after the initial stung disappeared and I let Gretchen’s words sink in, I knew that my need for a gold star was that my insecurity needed to be soothed. Every time someone complimented me I felt like the brick wall that held all of my insecurities began to crumble. In actuality my gold star approvals added more bricks to my wall.

In past posts you may (or may not) have discovered that I cannot make my own decisions. Large decisions, small decisions, insignificant decisions, and elephant size decisions all need to be discussed and analyzed by everyone I know. Everyone I know never comes to the same conclusion and in reality no decision is ever made by me it just seems to happen to me by my inactivity of each decision. (That was a mouthful and I am hoping it makes sense)

I am still trying to analyze my need for the gold stars. The more I analyze the more deep the roots go. I am not sure I will ever get to the root of my problem but I hope that I can overcome this need forever.

I am sure that I feel this way because I am a perfectionist, a control freak, a confrontation avoider, and a failure fearing person. But I do want to change. I want to be in charge of giving myself my own gold stars. I work hard everyday to be the best mother, girlfriend, daughter, friend, grand daughter, niece, cousin, and student possible and just be attempting to good by everyone I already deserve a gold star.

Do you tend to need a gold star? I look forward to hearing all thoughts and ideas on the subject.

Mornings Person? Not me!

2010-06-01T10:53:00.001-05:00

I am not a morning person .. at … all!

For example … this is what happened this morning

9:00 am – Wake up! Not good should have been up at 7.

9:02 am – Wake up Jacob by yelling at him to hurry up and get dressed. Throwing his clothes at him as I walk out of the room.

9:05 am – Yell at Jacob to get off the couch and to get his flip flops on since it is Beach Party Day at school. He yells back that he doesn’t have to wear them yet.

9:07 am – Make Jacob’s lunch

9:08 am – Jump in the car wearing my white sweat pant capris that you can see through – thinking navy blue underwear wasn’t a good choice. Putting my hair in a pony tail.

9:19 am – Jacob arrives at school a whopping 10 minutes late!

I wish I could say that most morning do not include yelling or running around like a chicken but that isn’t true.

I wish I was a morning person. I wish I woke up at 6 am, spent time in God’s word starting my day off right, lovingly waking up my son to start his day off right, and arrive on time to school.

I read other people’s blogs (The Simple Wife) that draw me in about how they go for a 5k run before the rest of the family awakes and then dives directly into their Bibles to get their hearts set with God.

I long to start a morning off this way.

Any advice? Anyone else not a morning person? Can you change from a not a morning person to a morning person?